I'm fun, flirty, and I have the musical taste of an eight year old girl with an IQ to match.
I'm not an alcoholic, I can stop whenever the fuck I want. Which is later. Much later. Where the hell did my tequila go?
I add the phrase "No Homo" after every sentence for no discernible reason whatsoever.
I'm teabagging Barack Osama to take our country back from the Queerosexual Jews.
I'm a caring, sensitive soul, and when you're not looking, I'll slip a roofie in your drink.
Dude...I am SOOOOOOOOOO high right now. Check out my fingers maaaaaaan...
Whoa man...I'm freaking out, man! OH GOD THE BUGS ARE UNDER MY SKIN GET 'EM OUT GET 'EM OUT GET 'EM OUT.
I compensate for my ridiculously small penis by getting 100% on Guitar Hero.
I read Pajiba religiously, and I occasionally jack off while watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
The Pussycat Dolls
My Daddy never told me he loved me.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Look at me! Hey! Look! Look what I'm doing! Hey! Hey! Tell me I'm pretty!
My Chemical Romance
I like to think of myself as a tortured soul, despite the fact that I'm a middle-class white American.
I'm a z-list gay porn star with an at best adequately written blog and no actual sex life to speak of.