Gossip Blog Intern/Gay Porn Star

Well, just finished my first day as an intern at Webster's is my Bitch. I never would have thought Gossip Blogging would be this hard. But you know what? It was fun. A lot of work, but fun. Such is the fabulous life of an intern...I feel like Ben Andrews in that one Lucas flick, only without the hotness or the superhuge dong.

It's times like these I'm thankful that celebrities are so very stupid. God help me. could you imagine if they all just sat around doing nothing all day? Like I did today? I'd be out of a job. *Shudder*

Although the California Supreme Court did vote to uphold Prop 8 today, which still strikes me as shitballs retarded and completely unethical and unconstitutional. Aren't the rights of the minority safe from a public vote by the majority unless it is meant to intervene for their own protection? And before you step in with a snide-ass remark, NO, that exception most certainly does not apply to this. Glurg...

But whatever, it ain't over 'til we're dead, and the people we're fighting have a LOT less time than we do. On the plus side, all those who were married in the window before Prop 8 at least are still married, so let's just celebrate the existences of those marriages while working for more.

Anyways, for now I have to rest my wrists. All that typing is gonna give me Carpal Tunnel one of these days, I tells ya...Later!

Jeremy Feist is my Bitch

Two little bits of good news for you guys here: First off, remember back when I first started this piece of shit, it was basically used as a cheap-o gossip dump? Well, ever since Dustin completely lost his shit a little while back (Sorry dude, you kinda did), Stace has been working away on Webster's is my Bitch all by her lonesome. However, after getting home last night and fishing twenties out of my cheap-ass pair of American Apparel undies, I found an email from Stacey asking me to jump aboard. Naturally, I said yes. Starting next week, I'll be doing some occasional work for Webster's Is My Bitch, which I think makes me the world's first gay porn star/stripper/waiter/proffesional gossip blogger. Unless I'm horribly mistaken. Eat it, Perez! In all seriousness, I'm honoured, and I look forward to carrying on Dustin's tradition of posting shirtless pics of Ryan Reynolds. Like this.
Mmmmmmmmmm...That is some man-pretty right there.

Now where was I? Oh, yeah, the second thing, right...Anyways, right now I'm working on moving into my own place (FINALLY), and so far I think I might have found a good place. It's a little small (Studio apartment, go fig), but it's pretty cheap, in a good area, and all the kitchen appliances are included, which makes me VERY happy. Goddammit, I need me a good fucking kitchen! And since it's pretty small, I don't have to worry about dropping a couple thousand to have the place furnished, which allows me to invest my hard-earned cash in more important things, like finally fulfilling my dream of building a Scrooge McDuck money pool.
Awwwwww yeeeeeah, boyyyyyyyyyyy!

To be honest with you, the whole thing is both exciting and pants-shittingly terrifying. On the one hand, after spending the first eighteen years of my life trying to please everyone around me (and having zero fun), it's exciting to see my life and my career taking off. On the other hand, I have no idea where my life is taking me right now, and I have no idea where the hell I'm gonna end up. But whatever, I'm not gonna sit around being all mopey like "Waaaaaaah, I'm uncertain about the general direction of my life. Pity me!" It's a little scary yes, but I might as well give it my best, and if it doesn't work out? So be it. At least I actually did something instead of lying around bitching about my life while somewhere in Sri Lanka, three doctors are forced to care for 300,000 people. Sometimes it helps to keep your problems in perspective.

Extraordinary Nutsack

Yup, that is one Extraordinary Nutsnack. Continuing my unwitting world dominance of the Pajiba blogosphere, I somehow managed to slip in a write up over at Bitchtastic literary blog Webster's Is My Bitch. Mind you, I can't quite crack a whip like Stacey can, but I do look pretty cute in a leather collar and matching banana-hammock.

I'm just saying.

And for those of you in Montreal, I'll be down in the Village tonight to see The Cliks and Hunter Valentine. I'll be the skinny one in the ill-fitting ensemble which bares way too much...Hmmm, that doesn't exactly help much, does it?

The Nice List

Bloggers are supposed to be constantly mean and bitchy and catty and they must hate hate HATE everything in order to keep readers coming back. But while I have my moments of snark (make that MANY moments) there are some people I genuinely like. So I created The Nice List, a list of people who can, theoretically, punt a kitten into a mine field and I would look the other way. A quick sampling of the first three.

Stacey Nosek, AKA Litelysalted, AKA The Webster's Dominatrix

Stacey Nosek can do no wrong. For those of you with any taste, you probably know her from Litelysalted, Webster's Is My Bitch, and Pajiba. Not only is she hysterically funny, but she actually reads this crap!

Yeah, I don't know how she does it either.

But for being the whip cracking, pink-car loving, Hottie And The Nottie reviewing super bitch she is, Stacey forever holds a place on The Nice List.

Matthew Rush

I know I shouldn't treat people like pieces of meat, but (lustful, incoherent gargling noises). Okay, got that out of my system.

But yeah, Matthew Rush can steal the Pajiba Murdertank, use to destroy a meadow of bunnies, and I would turn a blind eye. And not just because he is quite frankly THE most physically flawless person on the face of the earth (though it doesn't hurt), but because he is a real, genuine sweetheart, and he cares about his fans. I met him once when he came to Montreal. Ever wonder what it feels like to have everything you've ever hated about your body reinforced? Not anymore, I don't! But in all seriousness, he is just so fucking chill. I luv him so much, I want him to take me behind the middle school and get me pregnant.

Zooey Deschanel

What can I say? She's my favourite actress ever, and living proof that The Nice List works. How so, you ask? Well think about it, the girl has starred in Failure To Launch AND The Happening, and I continue to stand by her. Hell, she made those pieces of crap WATCHABLE. Do you have any idea how much talent it takes to make Failure To Launch watchable?

And when she's not acting, she makes kickass music. I bought her album and M. Ward's album, She & Him's Volume One, back in March. I can say in complete honesty that it is one of my favourite albums of the year, and it pretty much blows Scarlet's ear mauling piece of crap out of the water. And she made Elf. ELF!

Michelle! Jezebel! Bay's Dark Knight Hell! It's News On Bar Napkins!

While I'm happy that my straight-boi crush Michelle Collins made the list of "Twenty Bloggers We Want To See In Bikinis", this raises quite a few questions. Where are Stacey Nosek and Agent Bedhead? How in the fuck did that Jezebel bitch make the list? And where can I send in my application for "Twenty Bloggers We Want To See in a Speedo"? (URLesque)

And speaking of Jezebel...The two prostitards made an appearance on Thinking and Drinking, and proceeded to shove their feet, legs, and most of their abdomen into their mouths. Let the Flame Wars start in three, two, one... (Huffington Post)

Because I simply refuse to shut up about this movie... Behold Micheal Bay's script for The Dark Knight. Epic Fail imminent. (Defamer)

All Amy Winehous needs now is a giant Zig-Zag and she can turn herself into the world's largest joint. (WIMB)

Having already teamed up with Disney, Square Enix ups the "WTF?" ante by making a game with iPod. GET ON THE HYDRA'S BACK! (Gay Gamer)