No More Weekend Trips. Ever.

I'm back, bitches! After a total of five hours sitting in a car, wondering where the feeling in my ass went, I finally got back. We ended up staying in some house on a military compound, and since there weren't enough beds, guess who had to sleep on the floor? It's as uncomfortable as it sounds. But that's okay, because I've declared a moratorium on family trips. Anyways, I feel bad for ignoring it for this long, so I'm going all out and adding three two the nice list, and banishing two to the shit list. First the nice, then the shit.

Jon Stewart


I feel absolutely no shame in admitting that I watch the Daily Show religiously (The Colbert Show is great to, but you can't beat Jon). He's not on the list because he's got the sharpest wit on TV, or because he's a fucking genius, or even because the man is super-sexy-cute (admit it. You would let him hit it in a heartbeat). It's because unlike his "real" news counterparts, he's one of the few people who refuses to bullshit his audience. Sure, he bills himself as fake news, but let's face it: it's all fake news, he's just the only one honest about it.

Erik Rhodes


Yup, there are now two gay porn stars on the list. But this is my blog, so feel free to fuck off. Anyways, there are two reasons why Erik makes the list. #1, The man is jaw-droppingly hot. If you disagree, feel free to remove your eyes and hand them in to the closest research lab. #2, I may just have a teensy little addiction to his blog. Just a teensy one. What can I say? It's funny, honest, occasionally sad, and fuck it all if he doesn't have a pretty decent taste in music.

Tina Fey


I think any body who can write a script that is not only hysterically funny, but can actually make Lindsay Lohan seem talented deserves to be on the nice list. At this point, everything Tina touches turns to win: She was the only watchable part of SNL(Not counting Amy Poehler), she wrote and starred in Mean Girls, the only good high school movie of the new millenium, and she's the star of 30 fucking Rock. Even when she made the just okay Baby Mama, critics went easy on her because she was Tina Fey, and she could slice them into bits with her tongue alone. That's just how she rolls.

And now for the shitlist, it's a two-for-one deal!

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, AKA the Realitards


Behold: the physical maifestations of everything that is wrong with TV. Considering the sheer amount of reality TV that MTV has shoved down our gullets, I could have grabbed just about anybody for this, but no. I decided to grab the lowest of the low, from the one show that has consistently proven to be the single worst TV show on TV. Not only is watching "The Hills" like performing a frontal lobotomy on youself with a spoon, but it also stars these two, the reason people hate. For being spoiled, narcissistic, and general ass-hats, Mr. and Mrs. Realitard make the list

The Nice List

Bloggers are supposed to be constantly mean and bitchy and catty and they must hate hate HATE everything in order to keep readers coming back. But while I have my moments of snark (make that MANY moments) there are some people I genuinely like. So I created The Nice List, a list of people who can, theoretically, punt a kitten into a mine field and I would look the other way. A quick sampling of the first three.

Stacey Nosek, AKA Litelysalted, AKA The Webster's Dominatrix

Stacey Nosek can do no wrong. For those of you with any taste, you probably know her from Litelysalted, Webster's Is My Bitch, and Pajiba. Not only is she hysterically funny, but she actually reads this crap!

Yeah, I don't know how she does it either.

But for being the whip cracking, pink-car loving, Hottie And The Nottie reviewing super bitch she is, Stacey forever holds a place on The Nice List.

Matthew Rush

I know I shouldn't treat people like pieces of meat, but (lustful, incoherent gargling noises). Okay, got that out of my system.

But yeah, Matthew Rush can steal the Pajiba Murdertank, use to destroy a meadow of bunnies, and I would turn a blind eye. And not just because he is quite frankly THE most physically flawless person on the face of the earth (though it doesn't hurt), but because he is a real, genuine sweetheart, and he cares about his fans. I met him once when he came to Montreal. Ever wonder what it feels like to have everything you've ever hated about your body reinforced? Not anymore, I don't! But in all seriousness, he is just so fucking chill. I luv him so much, I want him to take me behind the middle school and get me pregnant.

Zooey Deschanel

What can I say? She's my favourite actress ever, and living proof that The Nice List works. How so, you ask? Well think about it, the girl has starred in Failure To Launch AND The Happening, and I continue to stand by her. Hell, she made those pieces of crap WATCHABLE. Do you have any idea how much talent it takes to make Failure To Launch watchable?

And when she's not acting, she makes kickass music. I bought her album and M. Ward's album, She & Him's Volume One, back in March. I can say in complete honesty that it is one of my favourite albums of the year, and it pretty much blows Scarlet's ear mauling piece of crap out of the water. And she made Elf. ELF!