100 Posts, Motherfuckers!

It's official! This is my 100th post here at Notes On Bar Napkins! My thanks to everyone who has read this lil piece of something, and a HUGE thank you to my followers, and everyone who followed me since the beginning!

Now, for today's list, The Top Ten Movies To Watch Drunk!

10. Kill Bill

9. Pulp Fiction

8. Thelma And Louise

7. Final Destination

6. Old School

5. Almost Famous

4. Donnie Darko

3. Swingers

2. Fight Club

1. Wall-E

And as a final celebration, here's something to ogle. Cheers, everyone!

The Boozehound Audiophile

I think I did a drinking list last week, but I don't care. I just got back from work and I'm far too lazy to come up with anything "creative" or "not totally fucking stupid". That's just how I roll. Also, I like making mixtapes. For any occasion really. I made one a while back for Zombie Forecast, and I have to admit I liked it. So here's a mixtape for when you need to get your drink on (and subsequently, your hangover).

A-Side: Relapse

Sam Roberts: Brother Down
Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Phenomena
Kate Nash: Shit Song
Classified: Cazual Drinking
TV On The Radio: Wolf Like Me
Erykah Badu: Honey
Sleater-Kinney: Entertain
M.I.A.: Bingo
Santogold: L.E.S. Artistes
Liz Phair: Flower
Peaches: Hit It Hard
Modest Mouse: Float On
LCD Soundsystem: Tribulations
The Go! Team: Huddle Formation
Be Your Own Pet: Bog
Against Me!: Thrash Unreal
The Killers: Read My Mind
Metric: Raw Sugar
Sam Sparro: 21st Century Life
Queens Of The Stone Age: Sick, Sick, Sick
Amanda Palmer: Oasis

B-Side: Rehab

Wilco: Jesus, Etc.
Jay Brannan: Half-Boyfriend
Feist: Gatekeeper
Cat Power: Lived In Bars
Stars: The Big Fight
Ingrid Michaelson: The Way I Am
Corinne Bailey Rae: Trouble Sleeping
Regina Spektor: Better
Sia: Biscuit
Esthero: Everday Is A Holiday (With You)
She & Him: I Thought I Saw Your Face Today
City And Colour: The Death Of Me
Jenny Lewis & The Watson Twins: The Big Guns
St. Vincent: Marry Me
Joanna Newsom: Sprout and The Bean
Broken Social Scene: Swimmers
Amy Millan: Baby I
Fiona Apple: Extraordinary Machine
Radiohead: House Of Cards
The Arcade Fire: Neighbourhood #2 (Laika)
Elliot Smith: Son Of Sam

There you go. Play Side-A for when it goes, and Side-B for when it comes out. Lather, Rinse Repeat.

I'm A Pretty Impossible Person To Deal With

My Dad is gone for the weekend, down to some beach in Florida with the girlfriend he cheated on his old girlfriend with (whom, coincidentally, he cheated on his old-old girlfriend with). So I've been home alone all weekend. This really is the first time I've ever had a house to myself, and I have to say, it's a double edged sword. It's fun to have my own freedom, but I just kinda wish I had someone to share said freedom with. I mean, what good is ordering a pizza and eating it in a hot tub if you're the only one?

Okay, moving right along here. My tattoo, though wonderfully sexy and (as many of you have called it) badass as it may be, itches like a badmothershutyourmouth. Right now, I just got out of the shower, so not only is it scabbing, it's also wet scabbing. I feel wonderfully sexy right now.

Oh, did I also mention that I have four assigments due this week? I got one each for Macro, Psych, Business and Phys Ed. Yes, even Phys Ed. Who the crap gives out assigments in Phys Ed? Fuck that shit. I've decided to put all of them off until the last minute. I think I might actually skip my Macro class on Monday. I mean, why bother? She never takes attendance, and it's at 8:30 in the fucking morning. Why the fuck not, huh?

Yes, I am slightly drunk right now. That is neither here nor there.

Anyways, one shiny little silver lining to my alcohol induced cloud of gloom? Last night I ordered a pepperoni pan pizza, a bottle of diet Pepsi, and watched a Scream Marathon until three in the morning, when I fell asleep. Not really sure why, but that alone made me happier than I've been since school started.

Anyways, see y'all later!

UPDATE!

When back to my Mother's house last night, and we had a bt of a blowup. Apparently, she thinks I was lying about why I was at Dad's house (to look after the dog), and that I went there because I find her and the rest of the family to be emotionally and physically exhausting. Unfortunately for her, I actually really do. I probably shouldn't have said this to her face, nor should I have called her Manipulative or controlling. Unfortunayely, since I really didn't want to go to Dad's since someone else is housesitting there, I sprent the night sleeping in my car. Awesome. Anybody need a roommate?

My Own Personal Ten Commandments For Drinking

1. Thou Shalt Hide All The Phones

I have a bad habit of drunk dialing. And I mean real bad. It usually involves someone with whom I've done the horizontal tango and never called me back, and it usually follows the process of righteous anger, hysterical crying, and the declaration that I am so much better off without the stupid asshat. Therefore, all phones must be hidden, and cell phones must be left with trusted parties.

2. Thou Shalt Take Off Your Clothes

This is pretty much a given. Getting drunk is a perfectly logical excuse for getting naked. The sooner, the better really. Clothes are a barrier between you and your true naked self. They have to come off.

3. You Will Lipsync Every Song That Comes On, And Fail Miserably

One of the strangest effects of alcohol is that it leads me to believe that (A) I'm not a completely awful singer, and (B) that I know the words to every song. This is a deadly, though oddly fun, combination. And the best part is, anything can be used as a microphone. Beerbottles, hairbrushes, dildos, you name it, there's a chance I've sung an off-key version of "Bleeding Love" into it.

4. Thou Shalt Constantly Be Hugging Something

I have this weird habit of hugging things when I'm drunk. Throw pillows are usually a good one, because no one actually cares about them, and they're roughly the size of your torso. I also have a thing for clinging to people, which is both a sign of friskiness as well as a desperate bid not to fall on the floor.

5. Thou Shalt Find Jeremy Hall


See that fucker right there? Find him, and hold on for dear life. He will be the little floaty ring in a sea of alcohol. And if you play your cards right, you might even get to first base with him. (Hint: he seems to have a thing for skinny, neurotic white boys who can't hold their liquor, slur their words and stumble around like they have an inner ear infection)

6. Thou Shalt Tip $20, No Matter How Much You Actually Bought

This is more a matter of decency then anything. What can I say? I was brought up in a restauraunt, people who don't tip well deserve to be kicked in the balls until they turn into ovaries.

7. Thou Shalt Take Blurry-Ass Pictures That Look Like Crap

Obviously, there's no way in hell I'm gonna remember anything, so the next best thing is to get pictures so I can figure out why there's a mysterious rash on my fun stuff. Further more, all of these pics should look like movie stills from Cloverfield.

8. Thou Shalt Not Break The Seal

Honestly, as soon as I pee once, I'm in there every fifteen minutes, really. You pee once, your never coming out of there ever again. This one pretty much applies to everyone: Don't break the fucking seal.

9. Thou Shalt Get Drunk As Hell Early, Then Keep The Levels Up With Shots All Night

I'm not what most people would call a "social" person, and I've been known to "assault" people for being jerk, assholes, or if I just haven't had coffee that day. So getting drunk is usually a sure fire way to make me sociabale. And the drinking of shots spaced out through the evenning makes sure that I keep my level of drunkness steady.

10. Thou Shalt Know When To Hit The Sack

There comes a time when enough is enough, and falling asleep is a must. At this point, it's best to call a cab, get on a bus, and get home before I completely pass out. It's always good to know your limit, even if it's not terribly high.

Safe Drinking, bitches!