Who Wore It Better? Jeremy Feist vs. Katy Perry

It's the battle of the people who wear pizza as clothing! Who wore it better? My more revealing (yet cheaper) medium pepperoni pizza, or Katy Perry's more modest (yet pricier) cheese pizza? Vote now!

An Open Letter To Katy Perry

Dear Katy,

Seriously? Just stop. Pretty please?

I'm not saying you're a bad person. Really, I'm not. Obviously, you've gotten all that "God-hates-fags-bible-thumping" bullshit out of your system, so obviously you're doing something right. It's just that, well, you're kind of a gigantic idiot.

I mean really, there are a lot of women out there who are truly bisexual. These are the women who actually go out there and fall in love with other women. And it's not just some dumb fucking ploy to sell a couple records, it's because people fall in love and it's sad and beautiful and terrifying and wonderful. It's kind of a clusterfuck, really.

All your song does is say that girls only kiss girls because they want attention, or because they want to make their boyfriends happy. This is the part where I call bullshit, and say that you are a dumb fucking idiot who couldn't find your own ass with two hands and a map.

You may be wondering why the hell I'm only going off on you now, when you're crappy album has been out for something along the lines of four months. Well, the answer is this:

Oh fuck off, are you serious? What the hell do you think you're doing on the cover? Since when do we reward stupidity and the trivialization of gay culture with idolization? Cheyenne Jackson I get, Sam Sparro I get, Gene Robinson I get, but I mean really, Katy Perry? That's like lining up a row of Oscars, the dumping a steaming turd right beside them.

So in conclusion, you have no idea what you're doing, and you're only making an idiot of yourself and the gay community. Please stop doing everything.

Hugs,

Jeremy Feist

P.S. Your cupcake purse was stupid. STUPID!