Watchmen Comes Out In Six Days. EVERYBODY FREAK THE FUCK OUT!

No, I still haven't read Watchmen. Yes, I probably should before I inevitably see this movie. Gimme some damn time, bitches!

Guess Who Isn't A Total Fucking Moron?

ME!

Yup, I got my Cal test back today. 78.3%! That's a C+! Can you fucking believe it? I didn't fail miserably like I thought I would. Woooo!

But now I'm scared. My doing well in math is in no way, shape or form compatible with the universe. If I can do well in Math, who's to say the Laws of Physics can't suddenly just look at each other and say "You know what? Fuck it. Let's change things up for shits and giggles". I am genuinely worried that my doing well in Calculus will result in the universe as we know it ceasing to exist. I would recommend stocking up on non-perishable food items and firearms.

Anyways, while I fashion myself a tinfoil hat and prepare for the endtimes, here's a look at my current level of unadulterated horror. MUSTACHE!

I Was Productive Today. Someone Must Die.

Glurg. Glurg I say. Today didn't start off too bad. I spent the morning in bed watching Buffy and leftover chicken. Afterwards, I went out and saw Confessions of a Shopaholic. Shut up. Pierre made me watch it. It's all his fault. Blame him! I know I said I was going to start listening to Dustin again, but I can make an exception every now and again, right? Or maybe this is just because I saw Pierre sans pants, whilst Dustin's Bermuda Triangle remains a mystery. Terribly sorry.

Anyways, point is, the movie wasn't that bad. It's not like the sky will open up and Oscars will rain from the heavens, but still, it was worth the ten bucks I paid to see it. Although the ending made shit sense. "Well, she's trying to get her life back on track after it was nearly destroyed by compulsive shopping. How do we fix her life up?" "...More Shopping!" "Brilliant!" Also, if I see one more goddamn wedding dress, I will jab a pair of Manolo Blahnik strappy-sandles through my eyes, heel first.

The fuckery started when I got home and checked out the new comments, only to notice that someone tampered with my music player. Y'all know me by now, when the fuck would I ever have The Fucking Pussycat Dolls on my player? Either someone dropped the ball over at Project Playlist, or someone's fucking with the blog. Uh-Oh?

Anyways, more fuckery occured as one of my superfuckinglazy co-workers took her third consecutive "Sick" Day. Guess who had to cover for her, as per usual? It also doesn't help that the waiters who DID show up were complete and total fucktards. Case in point: I had two waiters and one waitress come up and simultaneously ask me if I could break a hundred dollar bills (I couldn't). Then I had one of them punch in a take-out without telling me, pocketed the money, so I spent an additional twenty minutes looking for my missing moolah. Fun. And to think, I missed kickboxing AND a tanning appointment for this.

Oh well, enough complaining. Pretty soon, I'll be off to better things, but for now, I have pillow to cuddle and some Buffy to watch. I also have Cameron Marshall following me on Twitter, which is several different kinds of awesome. I'm doing a happy dance right now, because not only do I have a gay porn star following me, but he also has an IQ of 120+ out of 140. Basically, never play Trivial Pursuit against him, because you will lose. Hard.

To play you out, here's Adele live with Chasing Pavements, which I may or may not have listened to twenty times straight. Cheers!

Five Fictional Freebies

I know I've already done a Five Freebies list, but I decided to do one about characters from TV shows and movies. Not sure why. Guess I was just really bored. So here it is, the five fictional freebies.

Tony Stark (Iron Man, played by Robert Downey Jr.)
God almighty, RDJ was the sex in this movie. He's sexy, richer than God, and he has a nifty suit, which is always a big plus.

Angel (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, played by David Boreanaz)
I consider Angel to be the quintessential boyfriend. He's sexy as hell, wise, and will quite literally snap the neck of anyone who dares lay a finger on you.

Ned, The Pie Maker (Pushing Daisies, played by Lee Pace)

First off, the man couldn't be more adorable if he were made of puppies. Second, he can bring you back from the dead. And third, he makes pies! Delicious pies!

Captain Hammer (Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, played by Nathan Fillion)

Not only is he played by the pants-droppingly gorgeous Nathan Fillion, but he does the weird stuff in bed, AND he can use his penis as a hammer, which is always a sign of good things to come.

Elliot Wilhelm (Be Cool, played by Dwayne Johnson)
What's better than The Rock? A gay version of The Rock! Granted, he likes musicals, but when you look like him, it's tolerable.

And now for the switchlist!

Georgia Lass (Dead Like Me, played by Ellen Muth)
I just love George. She's whip-smart, has a razor-sharp tongue, and she's a grim reaper who leads people's should into the after life. Cushy job, huh?

Clementine Kruczynski (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, played by Kate Winslet)
You know a woman is serious girlfriend material when you're willing to travel through your own mind with her in order to save the memories of your time together. That, and she has pretty hair.

Liz Lemon (30 Rock, played by Tina Fey)
Oh Tina Fey...Liz is pretty much hands down the funniest and most sympathetic character currently on TV. It also doesn't hurt that the girl is sexy as hell.

Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, played by Alyson Hannigan)
I'm only into the fourth season of Buffy so far, but I am honestly in love with Willow. She can cats spells, stab people with pencils, and she's so adorkably cute, it makes me squee with delight!

Charlotte "Chuck" Charles (Pushing Daisies, played by Anna Friel)
*Sigh* She's adorable, she's perky, she's selfless, and she fully believes in the power of a good hug. And yes, for those of you keeping track, she is the second dead girl on my list. I should probably see a shrink.

Anyways, that's all for now. TO play you out, here's something for you, Rusty, to keep you motivated with your Wii Fit, and also so that you don't chuck the controller at the screen (Warning: Probably NSFW, and supergay). Cheers!

Yay For The John Hughes Basket Cases!

Hey all. So after two weeks, we finally scored a tower and a working wifi connection. Anyways, since I'm terribly lazy, here's a brand-spanking new facebook meme courtesy of Fig and Skitz about High School!


Did you date someone from your school?

For an all-boys school, my dating pool was really more of a puddle. Granted, it still is, but whatevs. Although, to be fair, it was a Catholic school, so that may have had something to do with it.

Did you marry someone from your high school?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAno.

Did you car pool to school?

No, I took the train everywhere. It was cramped and it smelled like cat pee. Awesome.

What kind of car did you have?

I had no car. Sad. But I biked everywhere! Oh, wait, that's even sadder.

What kind of car do you have now?

A bitchin' blue Pontiac Sunfire, official car of broke-ass college slackers.

Its Friday night...where are you now?

Work. Then home. I'm pleasantly quaint (Read, boring).

It is Friday night...where were you then?

At work. Still. Fuck quaint, I'm boring.

What kind of job did you have in high school?

Take-out server.

What kind of job do you do now?

Still a take-out server. I'm going places, I tells ya.

Were you a party animal?

Not by a long shot. If I was partying, who would be taking care of my brothers? Everyone knows parenting is for the middle child, right?

Were you considered a flirt?

Nah, I was the only gay in the village. Who was their to flirt with?

Were you in band, orchestra or choir?

Let Me think...No, no and no.

Were you a nerd?

I got 80's, but that's about as far as my nerd-streak goes.

Did you get suspended or expelled?

Nope. I was quiet and boring. No trouble-making or fun-having for me.

Can you sing the fight song?

Despite having a faculty full of god-wads, our fight song was super gay. I mean really, literally gay. Massive amounts of Vodka have erased all but the last line, which was "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" I'm pretty sure the writers were compensating for having disappointing wangage.

Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)?

Mr. Moore. He was the best teacher ever, but he was fired his first year for being gay. For those of you keeping score at home, religious beliefs > Human Rights.

Where did you sit during lunch?

In the bleacher thingies on the side of the cafetorium. I was a book worm, so I read during my lunch.

What was your school mascot?

Blissfully, we had none. Dodged a bullet on that one, huh?

If you could go back and do it again, would you?
Are you fucking kidding me? Not even if you paid me.

Did you have fun at prom?

Long story: I got massively drunk off of a bottle of Grand Cosmo and spent the entire evening smashed off my ass in front of all my teachers. Short story: Fun!

Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?
Of course! She's one of my best friends, and we even work together.

Are you planning on going to your next reunion?
Yes, but only to fuck with the faculty. They are reeeeeeeally gonna regret fucking with me behind my back and making vague threats towards my younger brothers to shut me up.

Do you still talk to people from school?
A few, but I've cut ties with most of them anyways.

Liveblogging Of The 81st Annual Academy Awards

8:00 – Hello and welcome, dear readers, to the Notes on Bar Napkins Oscar Liveblogging! Get ready for four straight hours of self-congratulatory circle jerking. First up on the Red Carpet: Kate Winslet. So far, so good.

8:03 – Tim Gunn is interviewing Amy Adams, who looks both dazzling and like a strong wind may blow her away. Also, there’s a horse on the Red Carpet, and it- Oh, wait, that’s just Sarah Jessica Parker. My bad.

8:05 – Brangelina are on the Red Carpet. They look flawless as usual. I kinda hate them.

8:09 – Valentino is up now. Fucker looks less like he shoud be making dresses and mor like he should be making chocolate for Willy Wonka. And here’s Danny Boyle backed by the entire cast of Slumdog. Holy snap that’s a lot of kids.

8:11 – Mickey Rourke is talking about his dog. I’m actually a little teary eyed. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. *Sniffed*

8:13 – RDJ MUTHAFUCKAHS! The sight of him makes me picture massive amounts of sweaty, dirty fucking. Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow.

8:15 – Miley Cyrus is here now. Time to break out the Jack Daniels. Ohhhh, it burns so good going down. Here’s Anne Hathaway to make it all better, though.

8:23 – I’m not really sure what the fuck Jack Black is doing at The Academy Awards, but he’s drunk, so carry on, you magnificent, shit-faced bastard.

8:27 – Well, like a pillow over your face while you sleep, The Red Carpet Ceremony is finally, blissfully over. On to the actual awards!

8:30 – So...Many...Crystals. And here’s Wolverine, looking particularly dapper. My god, this is self-congratulatory. He’s about two seconds away from walking into the audience and eating Meryl Streep’s Hot Pocket.

8:33 – Now we’ve got some music going. Awesome!

8:34 – Now he’s going after Benjamin Buttons. This isn’t all that funny though.

8:35 – Oh thank god, Anne Hathaway’s onstage. Yay! Damn, Girls got pipes. Now she’s throwing up the peace sign. Okay, NOW we’re getting somewhere. Anne Hathaway makes everything better.

8:38 – It’s over now. Aside from the wonderful, wonderful Anne, that was kind of a letdown. My god, he’s actually riding Frank Langella like a fucking cowboy. All of a sudden, that joke about Meryl Streep’s vagina seems vaguely prophetic.

8:43 – The first award of the night: Best Supporting Actress. Apparently, they needed five of them to read one goddamn envelope. Tilda Swinton looks like a corpse, and Goldie Hawn’s boobs look like they’re about to plop off.

8:47 – Penelope Cruz takes the award. I kinda wish Amy Adams won, but I’m more disturbed by the fact that it took four minutes and five Oscar-winning actresses to announce it. Seriously: Witef?

8:53 – Oh my God, TINA FEEEEEEEEEEEEY! Steve Martin seems to be trying to make amends for Pink Panther 2, to which I say: Nice try, but you’re gonna have to do better than that.

8:56 – God almighty, I could listen to Tina read the fucking phone book. And the award goes to Milk! Eeee! I loved In Bruges, but yay for Milk! And he’s wearing the White Ribbon! Also Eeee!

8:58 – Oh my God, he’s dedicating it to the little gay kids. I’m seriously full-on crying now.

9:01 – Surprise surprise, Slumdog Millionaire takes the award for Best Adapted Screenplay. Although I have to admit, Q&A itself was a pretty good book.

9:03 – Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black are on stage. Why that is is perfectly beyond me. I think between the two of them, their greatest achievement is an MTV Movie Award, and you can pretty much find those in cereal boxes.

9:06 – Wall-E takes the award for best animated picture to the shock and awe of absolutely fucking no one. I still think it should have been nominated for Best Picture too. Come on, if you bastards can nominate a fucking Talking Pig Movie, you can throw a bone to Wall-E.

9:09 – This may be my Quebecois heritage speaking, but I visibly cringed every time these two putz-bots pronounced La Maison en Petits Cubes as LAH MAYZON ON PE-TEET COOB.

9:15 – Daniel Craig and Sarah Jessica Parker are announcing the nominees for Art Direction. This is so bland, I can’t even come up with something funny to say, although this may be because I’m cripplingly talentless. Either/or, really.

9:20 – The Duchess wins the award for Costume Design, which kinda begs the question: Am I the only one who has never heard of The Duchess here?

9:23 - The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons wins its first award. Jared, if you’re reading this, now would be a good time to get the scarf out. /inside joke.

9:25 – Robert Pattinson and Amanda Seyfried are onstage to discuss love. Say what you will about Twilight, but Robert Pattinson is fucking charming as hell. There, I said it. Suck on it.

9:30 – I know we’re only an hour in, but my GOD is Hugh Jackman ever a boring host.

9:32 – Ha! Ben Stiller is out in full Joaquin Pheonix beard. He kinda looks like Cartman in that episode of South Park where he glues Scott Tenorman’s pubes to his face.

9:34 – And here we have Slumdog’s second win of the night. Yay? Oh fuck it, I’m bored as hell. I’m cracking open the Jack Daniels.

9:38 – Oh thank you, Jessica Biel. You’re stupid fucking dress has filled me with enough vitrol to get me through the rest of this high-class reach-around you call and Awards Show. Jesus Christ, you look like you tried to stuff your boobs with toilet paper and fucked up royally.

9:43 – Out of all the Seth Rogen movies they could have used this year, the picked Pineapple Express over Zack and Miri Make a Porno? Bah.

9:47 – Seth Rogen cracks up trying to pronounce the name of a German movie that I won’t even attempt to spell. All I know is, it’s called Toyland in English.

9:52 – So apparently, Mamma Mia grossed more in Europe than Titanic. Both movies suck pretty hard, but at least the former has Amanda Seyfried and Meryl Streep. Point is, this gives Hugh Jackman an excuse to break out into a musical number, which in turn gives me an excuse to break out into binge-drinking.

9:55 – Not only did Beyonce just start singing At Last, but it got cut off by Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens. Somewhere out there, Etta James is putting a hit out on Ms. Knowles.

10:02 – Once again, it apparently takes five people to read the name off of a goddamn envelope. Also, it just dawned on me that this is the second time Philipe Seymour Hoffman has been nominated in the same acting category as Heath Ledger. Weird.

10:07 – Heath Ledger wins it. His father, mother and sister accept the award on his behalf. This without a doubt the most well-deserved award ever given out. May he rest with a sound mind and soul.

10:12 – I believe we’ve just heard our first Bleep of the night. Sweet.

10:14 – Bill Maher is apparently a bit peeved that Religulous didn’t get nominated for Best Documentary. He thinks it’s because it was about religion, when in reality, it was because it was a fucking shitty movie. Deal with it, bitch. Man On Wire takes it. Word.

10:17 – Smile Pinki wins Best Documentary Short-Subject. The weird think is, I know someone whose name is Pinki. Awesome name, huh?

10:25 – That tiny moaning sound you may have just heard was Michael Bay cumming in his pants.

10:27 – Aw, what the fuck? Benjamin Buttons won another award? And it beat out both The Dark Knight AND Iron Man. Fuck it. Send the scarf Jared. Just send the fucking Scarf.

10:28 – Wow, Will Smith fucking sucks at announcing. But at least The Dark Knight wins this one.

10:31 – Seriously, would someone PLEASE explain to me the difference between this award and the last one? Sound editing, Sound Mixing...Hell, even the nominees are EXACTLY THE SAME.

10:33 – Oh, for fuck’s sake...He’s doing a fourth award? GET THE FUCK OFF STAGE, BITCH!

10:35 – Slumdog wins yet another award for throwing a whole bunch of colourful, flashy shit on a screen. Sorry, I’m just pissed Milk is getting shut out. Suck it.

10:41 – Eddie Murphy is onstage handing a lifetime achievement award to Jerry Lewis. Sweet Jesus, it’s like The Hadron Collider just went haywire and a blackhole of comedic suck has just opened up.

10:50 – Alright, the music awards are upon us. Suddenly, I actually give two shits about The Oscars again.

10:53 – Zac Efron and Alicia Keys are onstage to present the award for Best Original Score. This is the equivalent of putting a glass of fine wine next to a bottle of Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Slumdog takes it.

10:57 – What the fuck? No M.I.A.? I’ve just come down with what can only be described as the worst case of musical blue balls ever. At least John Legend is on hand to cure me with his Nutmeg. Oooooh, his sweet brown nutmeg.

10:59 – I’m not sure what is name is, but the guy in the black looks alarmingly uncomfortable. Come on, man. I’m gay and even I take the stick out of my ass every once in a while.

11:01 – Slumdog takes it for Jai Ho. I kinda liked O Saya better, but still, this was a pretty balls out terrific song. I’m still pissed at the lack of M.I.A. in this bitch. That girl is fierce.

11:05 – I think it was Genny that tipped me off about the story about how Hugh Jackman was going to do the entire ceremony drunk and naked. It’s been two and a half hours, and I still don’t see any Wolverine Peen. What a fucking gyp.

11:08 – A Japanese movie called Discipline won the award for Best Foreign Film. I think that means that all the good awards are up next. Yay!

11:10 –We’re on to the memoriam moment of the show. Scratch out that last “Yay!” and replace it with a “Sob”. Rest In Peace to all.

11:18 – Reese Witherspoon is here doing her best Jerry Blank impression to announce the winner of Best Director.

11:20 – Danny Boyle wins it for Slumdog. While I may have liked Milk more, Slumdog was a brilliant movie, and he deserves it.

11:26 – OH COME ON! THIS IS JUST AN INORDINANT AMOUNT OF PEOPLE TO ANNOUNCE A WINNER! Numbers aside, Marion Cotillard looks stunning. Come on, Hathaway...

11:30 – AAH! Oh, wow, that thing is actually talking. Holy fuck, I thought that woman was a mannequin.

11:32 – Yay for Kate Winslet! As much as I wanted Anne Hathaway to win it, Kate really did deserve the Oscar. “It’s not a shampoo bottle now!” Love her. She’s so excited to be up there, it’s just wonderful.

11:37 – Oh God, now it just sounds like a bad joke. “How many actors does it take to open an envelope? Five. That is all.” If you think this is sad, you should see them try to open a jar of pickles.

11:43 – YES! YES! OH SWEET HOLY MOTHER OF GODTOPUS YES! As wonderfully layered as Mickey Rourke’s performance was, yay for Milk!

11:45 – Sean is now taking down the Westboro Baptist Church and Prop 8 supporters down a peg. Fuck all of you pieces of shit!

11:47 – FINALLY. The nominees for best picture. About damn time. And look; it only takes ONE person to announce it! Okay, I’m done with that.

11:52 – Slumdog Millionaire wins the award for Best Motion Picture. Okay, I liked Milk better, but still, it’s nice to see a feel good movie finally take it.

11:55 – It’s over! It’s finally, finally over! Oh wow, aside from Sean Penn’s win, this has been painfully boring. And as sexy as Hugh Jackman is, my god is he ever a dreadful host. Bring back Jon Stewart, dammit!

Well, I wish I could say it was fun, but I’d be lying. Oh well, I got to extol a heaping helping of snark, and that makes me happy. Anyways, until next year, cheers!

Kill, Fuck Or Marry #4

Alright, it's Sunday, so you know the drill: Kill, Fuck or Marry. Aaaaaaaaaaand go.

1. You're given a list three people
2. You have to choose who to kill, who to fuck and who to marry.
3. Suicide is not an option.
4. You have to do it for both the men AND the women. It's purely hypothetical, so quit being such a pussy.
5. If you need help making up your mind, you can click on the name to see a pic.

Brad Pitt, George Clooney or Johnny Depp?

Amanda Bynes, Hilary Duff or Kat Dennings?

Dane Cook, Andy Samberg or Wyatt Cenac?

Emily Blunt, Anna Friel or Isla Fisher?

Steve Cruz, RJ Danvers or Damien Crosse?

Eliza Dushku, Megan Fox or Rose McGowan?

Lee Pace, Ryan Gosling or Luke Wilson?

Once again, leave your answers in the comments below.

It's The Eye Of The Tiger, It's The Cream Of The Fight*

I learned something about myself today: I am incredibly turned on by getting into a fight. The story behind it goes as such: It was my third kick-boxing class today, so having finally figured out (for the most part anyways) how to punch, block and walk around, we started practicing how to do all of these simultaneously.

For those of you who think boxing is a dumb sport, HOLY FUCKING HELL IT IS NOT. Seriously, do you have any idea how much thinking goes into it? You're moving around, and you have to figure out what the best way to block is, and what you're next to move is, and you have to pull all of this out of your ass on a moments notice while another guy tries to beat you until you can't get off the floor. It's a violent sport, but it's a pretty fucking cognitive one as well.

Anyways, I'm not sure what it was, but...oh, how can I sugarcoat this...I was having difficulty in the crotchal region. Difficulty in the sense that the damn thing refused to go the fuck down. I mean sure, the guy I was practicing with was pretty hot and I totally wouldn't be opposed to doing the seven-inch pole vault on him, but it wasn't just that. Throwing punches at him, dodging his...Not sure why, but I think I enjoy enjoy boxing, if you catch my drift.

Anyway, literal bloodlust aside, a couple things: Number one, I'm looking into a tattoo, but I can't seem to find the right one. I'm looking for a tribal-style heart to get tattooed on my chest, so if anyone can find or make a good design, it would be much appreciated. Number two, I'll be live-blogging the Oscars tomorrow, and there will also be a new KFM up tomorrow morning too. Number three, NO, I am not saying what gave me the jitters yesterday night. You'll just have to wait a little bit to find out. For those of you who have figured it out, don't be giving it away now, ya hear? To play you out, here's Neko Case with Maybe Sparrow. Cheers!



*Yes, those are the lyrics. No, I have no idea what the fuck cream of the fight is.

Jitters

I'm pretty sure I'm about to puke right now. Don't worry, I'm not sick or anything, I'm just excited. And nervous. I won't go into too many details here, because I want to keep it a secret until it officially happens, but right, all I'll say is that I just agreed to do something pretty big, all things considered. Right now, I'm excited and thrilled and pretty fucking terrified all at once. I'm shaking like a leaf and I'm pretty sure I'm about to puke. Strange how good that feels all things considered. Yay! I think...

Anyways, moving on, I'm still working on bulking up so that I can go from being two-dimensional to three. Or four if you buy into that whole "Time as a dimension" thing. Whatever. Anyways, I had a Weight Training class at eight this morning, so I managed to get a decent workout. Yes, I have a class at 8 in the morning. Why? Because I suck at making schedules, that's why.

Anyways, I managed to do a shitload of bicep dumbbell curls. I felt pretty good about myself until I looked over and saw what appeared to be a small mountain lifting weights beside me. Then I realized that it was an actual fucking person. Who knew?

I didn't actually get his name, mostly because I was afraid that if I got within arms reach of him, he would eat me. Let's just call him "The Physical Manifestation of Everything I Hate About My Body". Or Manny for short. Manny's a nice name.

Anyways, Manny was roughly my height, and about twice as big as I was. He was also doing curls using 60 pound weights, while I was doing 15 pound weights. While he beat me physical strength, I'm pretty sure I totally owned him in the Self-Loathing department. Jeremy: 1, Manny: 0. So suck on that!

Anyways, I am now seriously reconsidering my diet. Sure, my boobies are starting to fill out a little bit, but still, my muscles are still woefully small. If anyone can point me in the direction of some seriously cheap-o roids, it would be gratefully appreciated.

Anyways, to play you out, here's a video I like to call "Witef is Wrong with Japanese People?" Cheers!

Japan Makes Another Super Weird Video - Watch more free videos
Also, Hiya to new follower Figgy!

Crash Still Sucked Donkey Balls

You might have heard of the real/fake Oscar Winners List, but if y'all want some real Oscar Spoilers, here they are: Spoilers for every movie to have ever won the Best Picture Oscar



Sorry for the lack of a real update. I've been a little busy lately. Oh well, new REAL updates soon. Sorry!

And also, Hello to Dawnsname299, The Caustic Critic, and Dr. Jared! Keep those followers coming, people! I'll start posting naked pics as soon as I hit the 50 mark!*

*(Just kidding!)**

**(Actually, come to think of it, no, I'm not)