Before I go the article, I'd just like to remind everyone that the cancer walk is coming up, and unless y'all start ponying up here, I'm not taking anything off. And then no one gets the sexy pictures. Is that what you want? Then head over Here and pledge, if you please. I only need $150 more dollars, then I'm taking it all off for you guys. Well, almost all of it. The undies are staying on.
Now, for what the post is actually about. One of my best friends broke up with her boyfriend of two year yesterday, and of course, she was miserable. She's past the sharp pain stage (a fairly quick stage, actually), and she's at the heavy pain stage, where it feels like your hearts been ripped out and replaced with a dumbell. Anyways, I sent her my breakup cure, which I'm hoping helped a bit, and I've decided to throw one up here too. So here it is, your guide to fixing a broken heart.
You need weepy ass songs. You need lots and lots of weepy ass songs, actually. And not just one of those lame lil top 40 pieces of shit where they say "Baby" every five words, I mean the real shit. Here's a quick playlist you'll need.
Billie Holiday: Gloomy Sunday
Kate Nash: The Nicest Thing
A Fine Frenzy: Almost Lover
Broken Social Scene: Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl
Sia: Breathe Me
Nicole Atkins: The Way It Is
Fiona Apple: Never Is A Promise
Regina Spektor: Somedays
Stars: Your Ex-Lover Is Dead
Modest Mouse: Little Motels
Feist: The Park
Imogen Heap: Hide And Seek
Alanis Morissette: Tapes
Emily Haines: Winning
Rilo Kiley: Does He Love You?
She & Him: Take It Back
Your gonna need a tear-jerker or two in there also. Obviously, you're going to want Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind somewhere in there. While the Notebook has pretty much bought itself a seat in the chick flick hall of fame, you might as well add it in there for Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling. And if you want something to perk you up a bit, go fr Futurama's Bender's Big Score, a movie both hysterically funny, but with surprising amounts of heart. And of course, if you need something that'll get your mind off what's-his-name, I might suggest Destination London or One Night with Pierre Fitch.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Please. It is physically impossible to read with a broken heart. Moving on.
90% of your time during the healing process will be in a drunken stupor. While I swear by Vodka (liquid heartache), I've had suggestions of Boozehound's French .75 (Thanks, MO), either red or white wine (Thanks, Rusty), Tequila (Thanks, Sarah), Gin and Fresca, and even a Nyquil (Thanks, David!). Whatever floats your boat really.
No one ever got through a heart break alone. Surround yourself with them. True friends won't mind picking you up, dusting you off, and (in my case) mopping thrown up Vodka off the floor. So thanks to everyone who left some love while I got over mine.
That's about it. If I forgot anything, leave it in the comments. Happy Healing!