Thursday, September 11, 2008

If Nobody Listens, Then Who's Gonna Hear? (The Top 10 Canadian Artists You've Probably Never Heard Of)

10. Hot Hot Heat

Okay, well you've probably heard of these guys. They're the guys responsible for two great albums, Make Up The Breakdown and Elevator, and one kinda-really-only-okay album, Happiness Ltd. These guys would be higher on the list, if it wasn't for that last album.

9. Pony Up!

Sure they've only got one album under their belt (2006's Make Love to the Judges with Your Eyes), but to be fair, it's a pretty strong start. And if you don't like The Truth About Cats and Dogs, congratulations! You're dead to me.

8. Classified

A rapper from Halifax? Sure, why the fuck not. To be honest, he isn't that bad, actually. Despite some lyrics that border on completely dumb-fucked, he's really good.

7. Alexisonfire

If you a fan of screamo, you're probably (or at least should be) well acquainted with Alexisonfire. Blame it on my high concentration of emo friends (I'm the perky one. I'm a shitty emo!), but they've grown on me. This is what you listen to when you're about to punch someone's face in.

6. City And Colour

...AKA, Dallas Green, the actual singing part of Alexisonfire. Despite what you might think, no this one isn't another screamo. It's like the male version of Feist, if you want to know. Folky, guitar driven rock. Need I say more?

5. Bif Naked

Oh my god, remember Bif Naked? Hand to god, the best kept secret of the 90's. I mean c'mon, she had tattoos and guitars and banshee death wails for Christs sakes, how the hell did everyone forget her and gibe the Spice Girls a comeback tour?

4. Magneta Lane

If you watch the L Word, you've probably heard their song, The Constant Lover. And if not, it's about time you did. and while you're at it, you should pick up a copy of Dancing With Daggers. Why? Because you just should.

3. Esthero

I have absolutely no problem with saying that Wikked Lil' Grrrls is one of my favourite albums. How it didn't get higher reviews is beyond me. Seriosuly, did everyone sniff glue before they heard it? What the crap. Anyways, if you haven't picked up one of her albums yet, now would be an excellent time to fix that.

2. Emily Haines

Okay, I know. You've heard of Broken Social Scene. You've heard of Metric. But have you heard her solo project? Knives Don't Have Your Back is, to the best of my knowledge, one of the best albums ever made. The entire album is piano driven, the vocals haunting echoes, and the lyrics poetic. You're nothing without this album.

1. Sam Roberts

You know what Sam Roberts is? It's whiskey drinking, hockey playing, pot smoking, poutine eating, Mountie loving, Keg Standing, Gay Marrying, Tim Hortons eating, Much Music watching, "eh" saying, Healthcare socializing, Molson chugging, Stanley Cup yearning Canadian Music. It also doesn't hurt that he went to the same school as me. Go out and buy all his albums or I'll come to your house and kick you in the shins.


Robert said...

So much homework - so little time

Meaux said...

Hell yes, Sam Roberts--I love that man. "We Were Born in a Flame" has got to be one of the most quintessentially Canadian, most perfect albums of all time, and the other two are pretty damned good too.

Funny how really big Canadian artists can go so unnoticed south of the border. My cousin Peter was in the States several years ago and got to talking to someone there about music. When he asked the American what his favourite band was, he said, "Ahh, you've probably never heard of them--they're called The Tragically Hip." As Peter said to him, "Uh, dude, that's like saying to an American that he's probably never heard of Pearl Jam."

Oh hey buddy, I was totally working in your province last week! Nowhere near Montreal, sadly; it was way up on the Labrador border in an old iron ore mine. Neat place. Cold, though. It snowed there Sunday.

Meaux said...

Oh, and may I respectfully submit Ron Sexsmith for your consideration? Actually, he would work equally well as a break-up therapy suggestion for your earlier post. Beautiful combination of "it'll all be okay in the long run" philosophy, sweet sad sympathy, and just plain pretty stuff. Try the album "Time Being" to get you through any rough spot.

Though for good old fun-and-catchy stuff, "Brandy Alexander," from his latest album, is an awesome track.

Bohemian Bookworm said...

I love Esthero! I just discovered her about a month ago along with Sia.