Saturday, February 13, 2010

The 10 Best "Fuck You We're Over Asshole" Songs

#10: Grizzly Bear - The Knife

To be perfectly honest, it's not the best "Fuck You" song, but it is an absolutely beautiful song, and it's about a relationship going straight to shit because the other person a lying liar who tells lies.

What It Says: "So you're a giant sociopath and I can't believe a word you say, so get the fuck out."

#9: Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight Goodnight

The song itself is about two minutes long, but it's essentially what happens when your snobby-ass ex tries desperately to win you back and you have to show them the door.

What It Says: "You're a pretentious dick, you have no real friends and you're embarrassing to be around, so never see me again."

#8: Kate Nash - Shit Song

This song pretty much sums up what happens after a relationship: You drink a lot, miss your ex, than realize you're better off without him and drink some more because you can.

What It Says: "I could go back to you, or I could just drink this entire bottle of wine while I remember what a total piece of shit you are...Yeah, I'll go with the wine."

#7: Be Your Own Pet - You're A Waste

This one is a little weird, considering that not only is it a "Fuck you" song, but it also squeezes in some actual emotional input and talks about how relationships are the responsibility of two people, not just one person constantly fucking up.

What It Says: "Yeah, I fucked up, but you were a dickhead too, and seeing you in pain makes me pretty happy because you're an absolute fucking tool."

#6: Ben Folds Five - Song For The Dumped

So you've just been dumped. What's your first instinct? To get back all the things you've ever given that whorish bitch. Hey, you bought them, so technically they're yours.

What It Says: "You want to leave? Fine, give me back all the shit I ever gave you, you gold digging whore. I don't give a shit if it was a gift, you owe me slut."

#5: Lily Allen - Not Big

So is your stupid shit of a (soon-to-be-if-not-already) ex-boyfriend a terrible fuck with a small dick and a case of premature ejaculation? Well have I got the song for you...

What It Says: "You were fucking awful in bed and your cock is bad. Therefore, I'm going to fuck all your best friends then tell everyone about what a lousy lay you were."

#4: Rilo Kiley - Breakin' Up

So you broke up and apparently everything is supposed to go to shit...Except it doesn't. The world keeps turning and you realize you're going to be okay with or without him. And then you realize he's the one hurting and all of a sudden all you want to do is twist the knife while it's still in him just because you can.

What It Says: "So you dumped my ass and now you're the one who's in pain, so now I'm going to rub it in about how fucking meaningless you are to me and how goddamn awesome I am so THERE."

#3: Sia - The Girl That You Lost To Cocaine

You're significant other has a thing for drugs and/or booze and no matter how much you do for them it doesn't work. What do you do? Well, two choices: One, you can keep trying to break own this brick wall with your bare hands, or you can dump his stupid ass so that he can go be with his druggie loser friends.

What It Says: "Obviously, you'd rather hang out with a bunch of drug addicts than me, so fuck you; Go die of an overdose and see if I care, you fucking narc. And good luck paying for a new nose when that fucking beak you have now collapses on you."

#2: Miranda Lambert - Kerosene

To be honest, this entire list could have just been Miranda Lambert, so I just picked the best one: If you ever wanted to get back at your cheating, lying, disrespectful, good-for-nothing low-life, this might give you a couple ideas.

What It Says: "You treated me like absolute shit and lied to my face, so I'm going to shoot you and set your corpse on fire. How you like them apples?"

#1: Fiona Apple - Get Gone

This song is what happens when you've reached the end of your rope, and you're tired of defending him and making excuses for him and trying to help him and giving for him and all you want is for him to just get the fuck out of your life.

What It Says: "I know you couldn't give two shits about me, so pack up your shit and fucking leave already, your worthless, ungrateful fuck."

5 comments:

Deistbrawler said...

You should really check out Godsmack's "I Fucking Hate You" or Kate Nash's "Dickhead."

After every relationship I listen to that Godsmack song.

meaux said...

I haven't heard a single one of these songs. I'm so fucking old and unhip. *sob*

Also, I apparently listen to too many "nice" artists, 'cause I can't come up with anything good to contribute to the list. All I can think of was that "Jerk" song from a few years back, a bit of a Canadian hit by that chick from Newfoundland...but I thought the song was stupid.

Jeremy Feist said...

Deist: Kate Nash has quite a few "Fuck You" songs, but ultimately I went with the one that was both the best song and still a bit of a kiss off.

Meaux: Yeah, the better half of Canadian music kinda blows, but I won't hold your lack of anger against you sweetie, don't you worry.

Tim said...

At number 2 I started wondering what had happened to Fiona Apple, but then you tossed it in at the top spot and made me happy. Kudos, I can't add anything to this list.

MelodyLane said...

I'd throw in Scissor Sisters "I Can't Decide" or "Kiss You Off". I love both.