Monday, February 1, 2010

Things I'll Never Say

Yes, I stole this from Lainey, but to be fair, she stole this from a Hobo (or something) so it's all good! Anyway, here's a list of things you'll never hear me say:

  • Aw man, you know what's fun? Flossing twice a day!
  • Tila Tequila totally deserved that Academy Award for Best Actress.
  • I think I've had enough Diet Coke for one day.
  • I'm going to stop wearing leather and eating meat, and join PETA!
  • 30 Rock? No thanks. I'd much rather watch The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
  • Does this cookie come in a tasteless, calorie-free variety?
  • I vow never to let a single drop of alcohol pass these lips ever again.
  • Man, I could totally go for some pussy right about now.
  • I'm going to quit porn and become a man of the cloth.
  • Sorry Matthew Rush, but my type of guy would have to be someone anorexically thin, hairless, and with absolutely no tattoos whatsoever.
  • My ass is too fat.
  • Only one more week of throwing up and I'll finally reach my goal weight of 120 pounds!
  • You know, I could probably go a week without my iPod.
  • I don't miss Clyde at all.

1 comment:

Lainey said...

She's not a hobo! She's a wee, funny, thing.

"Man, I could totally go for some pussy right about now." -- I should have put that on my list, too.

PS: The word verification is "Loreali" and now I want to watch Gilmore Girls...