Saturday, June 19, 2010

Shit That Irritates Me For No Reason

Ever get annoyed by something really, really tiny and think "Wait, that's nothing. Why am I getting so pissed off over something like this?" But then you tell someone else about your minute pet peeve and they're like "Wait, you hate that too? I thought I was the only one!" Anyway, here are a couple of those things that apply to me.

Groups Of People Who Walk Really Slowly In Front Of You On The Sidewalk

I've never really measured how wide the sidewalk is in the city, mostly because I have a life and also because I'm way too lazy to do it. That being said, there is absolutely no fucking reason why two old people need to take up the entire length of a sidewalk. This logic also applies to the gaggle of dumbass teenage girls who keep stopping for no reason. I am late for work bitches; move your asses!

People Who Stand At The Register Fucking Around With Their Wallets

You know when you're at Starbucks and the bitch in front of you finishes buying her skinny non-fat mocha chai latte (with extra foam), and then when it comes time to pay, she whips out a purse that can adequately fit three bowling balls and still have enough room to store a fully-assembled Ikea bookshelf? And then she upends the contents of her purse onto the counter, and then has to put it all back in afterwards? HATE. THAT. Seriously, just grab your purse, move over to the left a bit, THEN work on your stupid purse.

People Who Try Think There's A Difference Between House And Electro

The only difference between these two is that House makes me want to jab forks in my ears; Electro makes me want to stick knives in them. That's it.

People Who Keep Sending Me Those "Free iPad!" Events on Facebook

I'm sure this must come as something of a huge shock to you, but no, Apple will not give you a free iPad for clicking on a button. The only thing sadder is the fact that people fall for this shit and then send them to me. If you fall under this category, please unplug your modem and step away from the computer; you are officially to stupid to use the internet.


Oh isn't that cute, you think your Macs are creative and that people who use them are free-thinking individuals! You know, sort of like the billions of other people who have exactly the same product. Good for you. The only difference between you and Windows is that you guys just happen to have a competent marketing team.

That's all for now. There's probably more, but that's all I can think of.


iain said...

YES YES YES, my god ALL of those tned to get my goat, but you forgot those people who get on the bus and then spend ages digging out their purse\walet looking for money to pay the driver as if it never occured to them that you had to pay for a ticket

dsbs said...

Fuck. Yes. Although I am one of those people who can never find anything in their wallet, I do make sure to move to the side if I need to go digging. OR I realize that I'm in a lineup for paying, realize I will be paying soon, and try to find what I need before I somehow, surprisingly, end up having to pay.

Snath said...

All I will say about your bashing of electronica is this:


That is all.