Wednesday, June 2, 2010

8 Glee Episodes That Need To Happen

I know Glee already did the Madonna episode and the kinda-sorta-semi-Gaga episode this season, which means artist-centric episodes are now officially fair game. So which ones need to happen as soon as humanely possible? These ones. For those of you wondering how or why these artists were picked: Yeah, I pretty much just pulled them all out of my ass. So any and all complaints can be written down on a piece of paper, rolled up real tight, and shoved up your ass.

Micheal Jackson

Okay, bit of an obvious choice. Considering that prior to the 90's, the guy couldn't even fart without being handed a Grammy, they have a sizable selection to pick from, as long as they don't go for any awkward "Child Molestation" jokes. And you know the "Thriller" performance would be a fucking trip.


Admittedly, I'm not much of an Elvis fan, which to classic rock fans is the equivalent of saying that nothing quenches your thirst like the sweet, sweet taste of blended puppies, but I still have to admit that an Elvis themed episode wouldn't be the absolute worst thing in the world.

The Beatles

Well, they already pulled off one Beatles song (That would be "Hello Goodbye"), so why not do an entire episode? Considering they have their own fucking "Rock Band" installment, I don't see why they would turn down licensing out a few more of their songs. At least this time we wouldn't have to worry about those irritating, squeaky plastic "Rock Band" guitars.

Broken Social Scene (And Their Satellites)

Hear me out on this one: At this point, every indie artist in Canada and their dog has been a part of Broken Social Scene. This includes Feist as well as members of Metric and Stars. Not only would the collective feel of the group match pretty well with the Glee kids, but I don't see why they couldn't whip out a performance of "1234" or "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead". Chances are this will never happen, but still, dare to dream.
Sigur Ros

Yeah, this one was more or less the brain child Zach Sire, although you have to admit, hearing Kurt or Rachel gibber in high-pitched Icelandic would be kinda totally amazing. Incredibly depressing, but amazing.


Outkast has that magical little gift of being both incredibly well known by mainstream audiences (remember when they played "Hey Ya" into an early grave? Exactly) and being legitimately good artists, which is kind of a rarity these days. And if they play their cards right, they might even make up for those awkward soul numbers.

Elton John

Simply put, Elton John is the kind of gay that is perfectly suited for Glee: Mainstream, at times over the top, and theatrical as hell. Anyone of the Glee kids could pull off his number with ease, and if done right, Ryan Murphy could use it to flesh out Kurt's love life beyond the creepy crush on Finn. And while I'm on the subject here: Finn? Really? He's a nice guy and kinda cute, but dude, have you seen Puck? Y'ello.


I want to see Rachel perform "Fuck The Pain Away." THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN.


Figgylicious said...

I would KILL for an Elton John episode, so long as they keep Finn the fuck away from "Your Song"...or any of the ballads, really. I hate when he makes his constipated face during ballads.

Randall said...

Um . . .er . . . the oh-so obvious has not been addressed: A Streisand episode. Granted, a few of her numbers have been done, and well, but there would not BE a Madonna or Gaga without Barbra!

Anonymous said...

Not to be an asshole because this is a terrific list but it's Michael not Micheal.