Jeremy Feist Is Not An Appropriate Role Model For Kids

Alright, so insanely awkward moment of the day comes from Facebook today. Basically, I'm a gigantic Facebook whore and I will pretty much friend anyone who sends me a request. Unfortunately, one of those turned out to be a fifteen year old (Whoops. I should probably check before I hit the accept button, huh?) who then sent me a message about my work on Videoboys. My stream of consciousness:

1. No.
2. NO.
3. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.
4. NOOOOOOOO.

Yeah, whatever, call me judgmental but that is just...wrong on so many levels. It's great that kids are coming out this early nowadays and all, and I honestly doubt it's even possible to get to the age of 13 without going through an old issue of Playboy (or, if you're so inclined, Unzipped) but come on, really? I draw the line at chatting with pornstars.

Maybe it's the fact that I have younger brothers, but let kids be kids for christ sake. Sure, at that age sex is an issue, but at least have sex with someone you care about. And of course, USE A FUCKING CONDOM. At fifteen, you should be out sneaking into R-Rated movies or passing out after two bottles of Mike's Hard Lemonade or dry-humping someone's leg, not trying to strike up a conversation with a z-list pornstar! You'll have years to ruin the rest of your life with serious relationships and sex when you're older, but for God's sake, you're a fetus! That's illegal! And wrong! And kinda creepy and awkward for everyone involved! Go and do your little hormonal teen thing with other teens. There's a reason I have a splash page: Unlike Trix, I'm not for kids!

Also, I absolutely fucking despise kids. Hate them. Hate every single one of them. Except for mini-Jibans, 'cause those kids are several kinds of badass. Other than that? Hate them. Hate them...Soooooo much, it-it-it...fla-flames...flames, on the side of my face...