The TV Quotes Quiz

Alright, so something I haven't done in a while here: I'm heading off to Toronto for the weekend, so while I'm gone I figured I would offer you a TV Quote Quiz. The rules are simple:

• I'll give you a list of twenty quotes from various TV shows.
• Your job is to figure out which show the quote came from (and as an added bonus, which episode it's from) and enter it in the comments section.
  
• NO CHEATING. That means no Google, no Wikipedia, no nothing but your own memory/conveniently organized DVD collection.
• Chances are that some of you (I'm looking at you, Sarina) will pretty much guess all of them. If you don't want to ruin it for yourself...I dunno, cover the lefthand side of the comment section or something.

Without further ado...

1. Oh, I made a lot of friends... did a lot of time. I was a boozer, a user and a loser. I stole the TV. - Did some more time. - Strangers With Candy (jM)
   
2. We're all fate's bitch. You might as well go ahead and bend over for destiny now. - Wonderfalls (Ammos)
   
3. Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
4. You love cock, you love it down your throat, you love it up your ass, you love riding it, and after you cum, you love to fall asleep when it's still inside of you.
5. I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind you. - Firefly (jM)
   
6. Don't mess with The Pie Hoes. - Pushing Daisies (Meaux)
   
7. I'll do what I can to help y'all. But, the game's out there, and it's play or get played. That simple.
8. People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.
9. And whats with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesight for anyway? - Buffy (jM)
   
10. You homosexuals will have all the exact same rights as married couples, but, instead of referring to you as "married", you can be... butt buddies.
11. My plan to promote Dog River is working. An American tourist came here accidentally. - Corner Gas (Meaux)
12. I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman. - 30 Rock (Meaux)
    
13. I once went out with this girl with a baby arm, insane in the sack, plus when she grabbed my dick with her little hand it looked gigantic. - Weeds (Ammos)
    
14. Are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. - Arrested Development (Ammos)
    
15. I'm gonna say this as nice as I can. But you look like a sad clown hooker. - Glee (jM)
    
16. Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into Jobland where jobs grow on little jobbies.
17. I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third. - The Office (Meaux)
    
18. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. - The Simpsons (Meaux)
    
19. I want you to do something for me Pete. I want you to get a cardboard box, and put all your stuff in it. - Mad Men (jM)
    
20. I'd say I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not. I excel at not giving a shit. Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation beget disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C Equals A, or whatever. I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed. Bad people are punished by society's laws, and good people are punished by Murphy's Law. So you see my dilemma. - Dead Like Me (Ammos)
    

Have fun!