So as it turns out, being single really isn't all that great.
I know, who knew, right?
My list of weekend activities isn't comprised of activities so much as it is a list of what might come out if you gave me a stomach pump. For example:
Friday: 4 cans Pabst Blue Ribbon (A great pick for oh-so-cool hipsters everywhere, as it tastes so goddamn awful, you have to drink it ironically,) and some Nyquil I found in the medicine cabinet.
Saturday: Jack and Coke, a healthy dose of white wine, and the 2 remaining cans of PBR.
Sunday: Orange Bacardi Breezers (the ones that taste like Creamsicles,) Vodka, and screwdrivers. LOTS of screwdrivers. Oh, and a Moka frappuccino that I threw a shot of vodka in. Just to keep things fresh.
As you can see, most of my weekend has been spent working my way up to Dialysis. In my defense, everyone knows that Vodka starts to go bad once you open it, which is why I had no choice but to drink as much as humanely possible. What can I say, I'm just old fashioned like that. You kids today with your crystal meth and your Lady Gaga and your Ecstasy and your Ed Hardy...Give me a bottle of liquid heartbreak and a pack of cigarettes and I will be just spiffy thank you kindly.
Apparently, I'm supposed to feel good about being single or whatever, but really I just sort of feel like I made something of a lateral move here; I'm no better or worse off really. I'm in the same place as I was before, but the furniture has been rearranged.
Meh, maybe I'm over-thinking this or something, or maybe I'm just being a total weenie because I've spent the last three days cycling between inflicting and inducing hangovers, but whatever. If the experience has taught me anything, it's that actions have no intrinsic value; only the value that you give them. Fact of the matter is, good people get fucked over by the rules of society and bad people get fucked over by karma. I surrender to destiny; go ahead and bend over for fate already. You might as well make this as quick as possible.
(Edit: This isn't a stab at anyone or anything. This is just my way of saying I've been drinking and kinda bummed out at the moment. That is all.)