Monday, April 19, 2010

I'm Giving Up On Love, 'Cause Love's Given Up On Me

I was the kid who believed in Santa until he was 12, The Tooth Fairy until he was 9, and the Easter Bunny until he was 6. No, really. I'll believe in just about any fictional being if the pay-off is good enough. Hell, you think any kid would believe in a jolly Yuletide burglar if he were doing anything other than leaving presents under the tree? Fuck no.

Which brings me to the next thing I've since stopped believing in: Love. I don't mean love as in "Love thy neighbour" or "Love thine enemy" or shit like that. I mean love where two people say "I do" then wear rings for the rest of their life to symbolize the day they decided to ruin the rest of their lives by making a commitment they can't uphold.

I'm not a pessimist or anything, although I'm not an optimist either, but here's the things: Dating leads to commitment, which leads to expectations, which leads to disappointment, which leads to two good people fucking hating each other's guts. That's all dating is: You take two good people and stick them together until they hate each other to the point that neither of them ever want to see each other again. That's not love, that's a crappy reality TV show they greenlight on FOX.

And what about the people it does work for? Well, here's the thing: Whether it's 40 years down the line or, let's say, about two months after you meet, the hand of fate will eventually come down and bitchslap them six feet under ground for no discernible reason, and there's not a thing you can do about it because God enjoys seeing you suffer. Seriously, just fucking yanked out of existence like that. Believe me, I know.

Hey, I believe in two people living together, getting along, and fucking all they want. But fuck this talk of "Dating" and "Boyfriends". It's not realistic, it fucks everything up, and changing your Facebook relationship status is, for lack of a better word, really goddamn annoying. Fuck love.


Snath said...

That is...harsh. And extremely dark.

Love does exist, even if you can't see it right now. I don't want to get all schmoopy-goopy gaga over here, but it's really true.

Relationships take commitment and compromise, and learning to accept and live with the other person. Shrug off the annoyances as they shrug off yours.

I do know it's true that "love" in the technical sense is just chemistry. It's our brains playing tricks on us in order for us to breed. That's science. But in my opinion love goes beyond just the science. Real love is figuring out how to stay together with someone after the chemicals all burn away.

bourgtai said...

I dunno. My ex and I ended on great terms, and I can only hope that we stay good friends for a long time to come.

Dan Savage says that typically, a gay man's best friend in life ends up being one of his earlier ex-boyfriends. Hate is a really strong word to use in your circumstance.

Robert said...

dark man dark :(
x Robert

TeresaElectro said...

Very dark, but I'm on the same wavelength this week. Dating is about expectations and then disappointment like 99% of time. Thus, it's hard to hang your hopes on the 1%. The best you can hope for is consistent sex and mild annoyance.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm...I don't think you are experienced enough to be making universal statements. Life isn't as black and white as that romantic love is more complex than 'real' or 'not real' . Be interested to hear your opinion in 10 years from now. Some people hurt each other, some people don't but it always takes two to tango.

Ron said...

We're all allowed a dark moment of despair now and then. Being happy and optimistic all the time would be so fucking boring.