Thursday, April 8, 2010
Tacos V. Sandwiches: The Epic Showdown
In the epic battle of delicious meats, veggies and cheeses layered between carbs, there are two clear-cut stand-outs: The sandwich and the taco. But which is better? Let's find out, with the epic battle of...
TACO VERSUS SANDWICH
Yes, there's a good chance I'm high right now.
Round #1 - Preparation
Do you have two slices of bread? That's it. Put stuff in between the bread. End of story. You don't need any sort of initial planning. Throw whatever's in arm's length in there and call it a day.
Irritatingly long. You have to bake the shells, cook and season the meat, slice the veggies, grate the cheese...And then the fucking shell won't stand up. If you want a Taco, you better have a fuckload of time on your hands.
Round #2 - Deliciousness
This one's a toughie. Since a sandwich can be made of just about anything, this can be anywhere between "So awesome my tits exploded" to "Oh Jesus my tongue is a never-ending valley of pain and despair."
Since tacos rarely, if ever, change format, they're usually pretty damn tasty, and generally speaking, slightly better on average than a sandwich.
Round #3 - Messiness
Not that bad. Food tends to stay in the little bread envelope, and if need be, you're totally allowed to eat it with a knife and fork.
The shell will collapse in on itself, the juice from the meat will mix with the salsa and the sour cream and drip all over the fucking place, chunks of meat will fall onto the plate, and by the time you finally finish, you'll enough edible shrapnel to launch a war.
Round #4 - Dessert
Sandwich:The Oreo. Good, not great.
Taco:The Choco Taco: Irrefutable proof of a decent and loving God.
Round #5 - Likelihood Of Your Ass Exploding
"What? Oh, no, of course not, I feel fine! Pete, you doing okay?"
"OH SWEET BABY JESUS MY ASS IS ON FIRE HOLY MARY PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!:"
Yes, by the sole virtue that a sandwich will not turn your ass into a bleeding, fiery volcano of horror, the sandwich beats the taco for best combination delicious meats, veggies and cheeses layered between carbs. Here's to you, sammich.