Friday, October 16, 2009

10 Reasons To Be Happy

1. Next Week's Toronto Trip

God help me, nothing fills me with glee quite like going to Toronto. Although that may be entirely because I get to do dirty, unspeakable acts when I head over, and really, who DOESN'T love doing shit like that? Also, I never have to worry about my tenuous grasp of French making me look like a total fucking idiot.

2. Where The Wild Things Are

I cannot even BEGIN to describe how excited I am about this movie, mostly because every time I try I end up jizzing my pants, and it is goddamn IMPOSSIBLE to get jizz stains out of denim.

3. Ham

Since last weekend Sunday was Canadian Thanksgiving (which is sorta like American Thanksgiving, only we have it in October, and we hang little hand-outline turkeys in our igloos) I ended up making off with a giant-ass hunk of ham, which has fed me through the entire fucking week. Awesomeness.

4. I Don't Have An STD

It seems I'm doing something right, because according to my recent STD tests, I'm free of any and all lovebugs. Yay for condoms!

5. Drag Me To Hell
Words cannot express how balls-out hysterically awesome this movie is. There's no pretentious moral or symbolism in it, just a shit-load of gore, demons and pant-soaking terror.

6. My Newly Clean Apartment

After Clyde, I kinda pitched cleanliness aside, as I sorta had more pressing issues at hand. But now that I finally got around to getting a vacuum cleaner, my floors are spotless, I have no dishes in the sink, and there isn't a huge mountain of DVDs piling up on the floor.

7. Diet Dr. Pepper

I sorta hate Diet drinks, because they always have that funny taste to them, but honest to God, Diet Dr. Pepper tastes EXACTLY the same as its regular counterpart. But with no calories. *Terrorist Fist Jab*

8. Chocolate Pudding + Marshmallow Fluff

I blame this entirely on Ryan Russell. Oh monster, why did I create you? Honestly, whip up a batch of instant Jell-O Chocolate Pudding, mix in some marshmallow fluff, and you have the culinary equivalent of multiple screaming orgasms.

9. Halloween and Christmas

Fact: There are only 15 more days until Halloween and only 70 more days until Christmas. Which means I have to find something slutty to wear out in 5 degree weather and I have to start buying gift wrap.

10. Pictures For Sad Children
'Nuff said.


Robert said...

Diet Dr Pepper is really hard to get out here on the bottom of the earth so I guess I'm not really as happy as you are Jeremy plus I still have to do house work tomorrow and wade through 5000 photos I took on my recent holiday - gee this is starting to sound like 10 reasons to to be Upset - shit that's not like me lol!
x Robert

The Caustic Critic said...

De-lurking to say that Diet Dr. Pepper really IS the shit. I practically live on the cherry variety (also v. good) and cigs.

Also, glad that you are feeling a bit better.