Me: Oh, sorry, one second, I think I just got a DM.
Lindsey: Who's it from?
Me: Derek Da Silva.
Lindsey: I have no idea who he is.
Me: Oh, he's like the his big music industry guy turned pornstar. He saw Liz Phair's first ever live performance, and now he does shit that I'm pretty sure is illegal almost everywhere.
Me: I think he once set someone on fire. Intentionally. He's kind of my hero.
Lindsey: You mean the Liz Phair part or the "lighting someone on fire" part?
Me: A little of both. I kinda want to try the latter though.
Lindsey: You mean setting someone on fire?
Me: I'd be happy being on the receiving end too.
Lindsey: ...Should I be worried about you?