Sunday, October 25, 2009

5 Great Moments In Product Placement

#5: The Wizard

Before I go on, I'm just gonna get this out of the way: Yes, The Wizard was an hour-and-a-half commercial for Nintendo, but to a twelve year old, it was a FUCKING AWESOME commercial. Case in point: The Power Glove scene.
The Power Glove may have been a total piece of shit, but come on, look how cool that thing is! Especially when you consider this was almost two fucking decades before the Wii. Come to think of it, the Wii remotes are total pieces of shit compared to the above. And you know who else fucking loved The Power Glove? Freddy Krueger. And his other glove had fucking knives on it.

#4: E.T. The Extraterrestrial

Ah come on, you knew this one was coming, didn't you? E.T. is one of those timeless childhood movies that you're pretty much legally mandated to see. Seriously, I think it's in the Constitution or something. Anyway, we all remember the bit about The Reese's Pieces, right? Adorably precocious child leads equally adorably precocious alien into his room using candy-coated peanut butter bits, madcap adventures ensue...And then you grow up and realize that yes, Reese's Pieces still kick ungodly amounts of ass.

#3: Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law

Never has anyone expressed their love for crappy soft drinks quite so elegantly as this. One minute, Harvey is discussing how to get Shaggy and Scooby-Doo off on their drug possession charges, the next he's frolicking on the beach in real life with a giant can of Tab. This one makes the list if only because it gave me the opportunity to use the word "frolicking".

#2: 30 Rock

There really is no way to incorporate product placement without having it stick out like a big, sore, capitalistic thumb. So if you can't do that, point out said thumb by taking constant jabs at being forced to have product placement to being with. 30 Rock is pretty relentless about this, even going so far as to have Tina Fey look into the camera demanding money from her sponsors, or denying it by blurting out "It's not product placement I just like it!"

#1: Josie and the Pussycats

To be honest with you, Josie and the Pussycats was one of those movies that was smarter than it had any right to be. It was a movie based on an off-shoot of the fucking Archie comics starring Tara Reid which instead turned out to be one of the sharpest satires on a capitalist-driven society. Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that one out too. The movie contains logos from 73 companies and pretty much smothers you to death with them, and the best part is, not one of the companies even asked for it. Not bad for a movie with fucking Tara Reid of all people. Incidentally, this list was brought to you by Coca-Cola. We're coming for you.

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