Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Godtokkah!

I know Christmas is tomorrow, or more accurately, about 45 minutes from now, but did you know that us Cephalopotheists (which is the fancy term for the followers of Godtopus) have our own end of the year celebration too? No? That's probably because I totally pulled it out of my ass this morning. Well, come next year, this shit will be everywhere. So what the fuck is Godtokkah?

Godtokkah is an eight day long celebration honouring the almighty wisdom of Godtopus. Each day, we light a candle held by one of the tentacles on the Menorahpus. The light of the candles is meant to guide the way for Santopus, who gives gifts to those who have been good by going to see good movies, and sprays ink on the carpets of those who saw stupid, shitty movies.

The kids welcome Santopus by hanging eight stockings from the fire place, one for each day and for each tentacle. They leave out cookies and Whiskey, and sing Carols. One such example (courtesy of heres2u):

Oh the weather outside is frightful

But this movie looks so delightful

I think I just have to go

Fuck the snow, fuck the snow, fuck the snow

But of course, the point of Godtokkah, like all holidays this time of year, is to have time where you don't have to worry about stupid little shit and just be with the people you care about. And who wouldn't like some of that?


Matt the Great! said...

Any chance to celebrate a new, um, celebration, count me in.

Lainey said...

Yay! Just got back from Midnight Mass celebrating the baby Godtopus, Squishy - shut-up, I name ALL things Squishy {that's what she said}(OMG, I have no excuse. I haven't even been drinking.)

Thanks for writing up the Godtokkah rules. It's easier for me to dismiss as nonsense and shenanigans if there's not a written account of our Lord and Saviour, Squishy.

meaux said...

Praise be, and pass the whiskey!

Merry Godtokkah, and enjoy that other holiday too, Jeremy!

Robert said...

Share the love Jeremy ... may I please have some of whatever you are on. lol!
x Robert

Sarah said...

Yay! Lemon chiffon! Oh my goodness, a holiday whose official food is lemon chiffon! This is the best day of my life!

I take back all the smack talkin' I did about a Godtokkah holiday with a non-kosher cephalopod deity. I think it all evens out, now that we have a parev cake. I mean, not really... but whatever, Kashrut can go fuck itself.