Well, looks like we've only got a little over a week before this disappointment of a year wraps up. But thankfully, I won't be in this cold, barren, God-forsaken country for New Years. I'll be down in The Dominican Republic in a time-share villa for a week with an open sushi and alcohol bar. Which sounds cool, until you realise that I'm down there wit my family. Anyways, since I'm not sure if I'll have wifi down there, I figured I might as well share with y'all my New Year's Resolutions.
- New Motto: You're not the only one who's ever been hurt.
- Stop trying to please and bend over backwards for people who obviously couldn't give two shits about me.
- Learn how to bartend. Seriously, that shit looks like fun.
- Listen to Dustin when he says not to go see a crappy movie, even if it is Christmas. Lesson learned, Rowles, lesson learned.
- Try my hand at my dream job.
- Move out of my parent's house(s). Which is going to be easy since I'm a full time college student.
- Try not to drink a bottle of Drain-O.
- Find a boyfriend. Everyone I know seems to have found one at pretty much the exact same time, so now I'm the odd one out. Oh well, they all seem pretty happy about it, so I might as well give it a try.
- If I'm angry at someone, be it because they break something expensive, refuse to listen to me, or blow me off for some bullshit excuse, tell them that they are, in fact, full of shit.
- If someone does something that really makes them happy, encouage them.
- Make (as Liz Phair put it) shitloads of money.
- Learn how to play the Cello. Not sure why, but I've always had a fondness for Cellos.
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6 comments:
Definitely get a job behind a bar somewhere. Bartending and college go together like fine wine and cheese, like shitty movies and hangovers, like David Duchovny and sex, like... Wait, where was I?
I've made some friends for life behind that bar. I went drinking with some of them just yesterday, actually, that is why my head hurts so much now. So be prepared for many many hangovers, a beerbelly and the general decay of your body (also mind, youth, life), and you'll have a blast!
Your attitude toward New Years reminds me of mine toward Christmas. Bah humbug, my friend...bah, humbug.
Hope you have a fabulous trip down south! I'm a little jealous, I've never been anywhere tropical. But then, vacationing with family sounds pretty stressful... Remember to bring loads of distractions, and a list of excuses to spend alone time outside of the villa.
Hey, you should definitely bring Christopher Moore's The Stupidest Angel along to read (or re-read?). I'm doing so right now. It's rather comforting to know that no matter how effed-up your holidays are, well, at least you're not a pot-addled cop married to a psychotic former actress with a penchant for swordplay. Could be worse.
I hate New Year's too. Has that holiday ever been anything but a giant letdown? Although, that is a fabulous new motto. I believe I will steal that, because apparently all I do is take your shit as my own.
Also, my problem is I always read Dustin's reviews of crappy movies before I see them. So when I'm in the theatre, cursing his name, my friends are all like, who the fuck are you talking to?
Hi Jeremy,
Can I be your Australian boyfriend - it's warm here and the culture is based around drinking alcohol! Plus I have a big dick haha!
x Robert
Pants: I'm immune to hangovers, so I won't have to worry too much about that. Now I just need to build up a good repetoire of drinks.
meaux: Yes. I absolutely despise New Year's. And I already read the Stupidest Angel, and I was SOOOO meaning to read it again, but during the move, all my books got put in storage. Super. So I have to build a new collection. Oh well.
Marra: I expect my royalties are in the mail, are they not? And I have the same problem. Dustin told us that it sucked, yet I still went to see it. Fuck me, I'm the biggest idiot in the world.
Robert: Hmmmm...defs a plus in my book, but I've learned long ago that long distance relationships very rarely work out. Though that doesn't mean I won't consider taking a trip down, winkedy-wink, nudgedy-nudge.
"Learn how to play the Cello."
My best friend Jay is obsessed with the instrument, that's so funny. His boyfriend made him a Christmas ornament of a snowman with a mohawk playing the cello.
I fucking hate New Year's Eve. Hate. I think Jay and I are going to spend it drinking wine and watching Alias dvds. Because fuck New Years and I have no money.
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