Drunken Realtime Review of Shaun of the Dead

I'm drunk and Shaun of the Dead is on and I'm gonna review it. SO THERE. And I wont record the time because I DONT WANT TO. SO THERE. AGAIN.

They're in a bar right now. Also the guy with black hair is a fucking DIIIIIIIIIIICK.

I will regret this in the morning.

Its funny because English people look like zombies. HA!

I never played Tekken 2. But aparently its fun. This makes me sad.

Youve got red on you. Its funny because it foreshadowing.

The stepdad is a total fucking DICK is what he is. Also I have no more ketchup chips. Sad.

Liz broke up with Saund and I can't blame her I mean really he's kind of stupid. How the fuck did he make Pajiba's most bangable celebrities list? This confuses me.

The fat guy is acting like a monkey. HA! Now tey're getting drunk!

I love it when they sing with th zombie little known fact zombies are excellent singers. Look at tupac.

Hoe do you not notice everyone turning into zombies? T MAKES NO SENSE!

Ha drunk people are like zombies. I wanna eat someones brains. AND THW POLE JUST WENT RIGHT THROUGB HER AND SHES STANDING HOLY FUCK.

HOLY SH9T THAT ZOMBIE DOESN'T HAVE NA ARM ALSO I THINK I SHOULD DO THE REST OF THE REVIEW IN ALL CAPS. I'M LIKE DIESEL WASHINGTON ONLIER LESS HOT AND LESS RETARDED HEEHEEHEE OH I KID I'M SORRY YOU'RE HOT

NOW THEY'RE THROWING PERFECTLY GOOD VINYL AT THEM. WHY YES I AM A PRETENTIOUS ASHOLE WY DO YOU ASK?

HA PHILIPE GOT BITTEN HA SUCKS TO BE YOU ASSHOLE!

THEY;RE GONNA KILL PHILLIPE NOW THEN HAVE A CUP OF TEA. I NEED SOME TEA RIGHT NOW

NOW THEY;RE ROOMMATE IS A ZOMBIE BUT THATS OKAY BECAUSE HE WAS KIND OF A DOUCHE TO BEHIN WITH.

NOW THEY''RE RUNNING OVER ZOMBIE WITH THE CAR. I LIKE BLOOD.

WHY THE HELL HAVENT THEY KILLED PHILIPE YET HES AN ASSHOLE

OKAY THEY BIT OUT TOM'S JUGULAR AND NOW THEYRE RUNNING OVER ZOMBIES. ALSO ED IS A FUCKING IDIOT. WHY ISN'T E DEAD?

OMG THEY'VE LL BEEN CLONED AND I'VE JUST BEEN MINDFUCKED. ALSO, WHY DOES EVER SIMON PEGG MOVIE FEATURE A SCENE WHERE THEY JUMP OVER FENCES? IT MAKES NO SENSE!

I LOVE HOW BRITISH PEOPLE ARE ALL LIKE "OY!" BEFORE THEY HIT SOMEONE WITH A PLASTIC KID'S CHAIR.

DO PEOPLE REALLY NEED LESSONS ON HOW TO ACT LIKE A ZOMBIE? APPARENTLY YES, YES THEY DO.

ON THE LONG LIST OF REALLY BAD PLACES TO HAVE A SHITFIT, IN FRONT OF A HOARD OF ANGRY ZOMBIES RANKS PRETTY HIGH UP THERE.

DAVID IS A FUCKING DICKHOLE. I MEAN REALLY, I'M GLAD HE GOT RIPPED APART BY ZOMBIES. HAHAHA YOU GOT EVISERATED ASSHOLE.

NO SERIOUSLY, IF I WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE LET THE ZOMBIES EAT FRED ALREADY. HE'S A FUCKING IDIOT.

OMG IT'S THE BAR FIGHT SCENE WHERE THEY SYNC IT UP WITH QUEEN'S "CAN'T STOP ME NOW". BEST. SCENE. EVER.

I LAUGHED SO HARD I PUKED A LITTLE BIT. GOO THING I HAVE THE GARBAGE CAN NEXT TO ME.

AWWW SHIT SHAUN'S MOM IS A ZOMBIE. I'M SAD. IN THE PANTS.

DAVID IS IN FACT A TOTAL DOUCHE. HOW THE HELL DO YOU SAY "SHOOT YOUR MOM IN THE FACE"? WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

OMG DAVID IS LEAVING NOW. YAY HE'S GONNA DIE SOON

OMG THEY ATE ALL HIS BLOODY LITTLE INSIDES. NOW HE'S DEAD. HAAHAHAHA YOU SUCK.

OH GREAT, NOW THEY'RE KILLING ED. BOOO YOU SUCK ZOMBIES.

I DON'T SEE THE WISDOM IN GIVING THE HALF-ZOMBIE A GUN. HE'LL SOON BE A FULL ZOMBIE WITH A GUN

WHOA THEY UST SHOT THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE ZOMBIES. AND THEN FEMALE SHAUN HIT ONE WITH A GOLF CLUB. BADASS!

AND NOW HERE'S COLDPLAY, DOING THE ONLY REDEEMING THING IN THERE ENTIRE CAREER.

NOW SHAUN ND ED ARE PLAYING XBOX. I KINDA WANT TO SEE THEM PLAYING WII, MOSTLY BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE ED FLAIL AROUND LIKE A SIX YEAR OLD.

OKAY THAT'S THE EN OF THE MOVIE AND THE END OF MY FIRST EVER DRUNKEN REAL TIME REVIEW. GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE, I NEED TO THROW UP NOW