Saturday, August 1, 2009

If Anyone Needs Me, I'll Be In The Fridge Next To The Chopped Liver


Well, tomorrow I move into my first apartment ever, and guess what? Not a single member of my family is helping me. Not one. Not my mother, not my father, and certainly not my brothers. In fact, my brother and my cousin arranged a party an hour or so up North, so that pretty much knocks all our friends off the list of "People Who Could Potentially Help Me Move" and onto the list of "People Who Can Pretty Much Go Suck A Hot Cock For All I Care".

Gee, thanks a fucking heap guys. No, really, glad to see where exactly I stand here. Suck my chode.

I know I should probably be sugar coating this considering that Mama Feist periodically comes to read this, but fuck it, I'm pretty pissed. And quite honestly, I think I have a right to be pissed. How many times have I helped her move? How many times have we helped other members of my family move? And look how much help I got in return. Awesome. Hell, the least they could have done was offer some fucking cutlery or something. Instead, I got my cookware FROM MY NEIGHBORS. And it's FUGLY.

But whatever, at least at the end of the day I'll know I did it on my own without help from anyone, so at least I have that hollow victory, right? Swell.

3 comments:

iDLg said...

poor baby,
"..relax this won't hurt you..
before i put it in,
close your eyes and count to ten..don't cry, i won't convert you..there's no need to dismay.." MJ
"Morephine"
we all have our cross's to bear, bro,
same ting happen'd to me my last move, ended wit a hell'a big ass bill from a local moving company..oops, i guilty of fraud..
i hope u get settled in.baby..

Robert said...

I'd be fucking pissed off as well Jeremy. That sucks big time!
x Robert

Mareczku said...

Hi Jeremy. Sorry that nobody helped you move. That has to hurt. If I was there I would have helped you. Also, I would have had a little chat with your Mom. Well, if she wouldn't help move, at least she can say a Rosary or two for you that plus give you some excess dishes, pots, silverware, etc. Hang in there baby. Love to you.

Mark