Saturday, August 1, 2009
If Anyone Needs Me, I'll Be In The Fridge Next To The Chopped Liver
Well, tomorrow I move into my first apartment ever, and guess what? Not a single member of my family is helping me. Not one. Not my mother, not my father, and certainly not my brothers. In fact, my brother and my cousin arranged a party an hour or so up North, so that pretty much knocks all our friends off the list of "People Who Could Potentially Help Me Move" and onto the list of "People Who Can Pretty Much Go Suck A Hot Cock For All I Care".
Gee, thanks a fucking heap guys. No, really, glad to see where exactly I stand here. Suck my chode.
I know I should probably be sugar coating this considering that Mama Feist periodically comes to read this, but fuck it, I'm pretty pissed. And quite honestly, I think I have a right to be pissed. How many times have I helped her move? How many times have we helped other members of my family move? And look how much help I got in return. Awesome. Hell, the least they could have done was offer some fucking cutlery or something. Instead, I got my cookware FROM MY NEIGHBORS. And it's FUGLY.
But whatever, at least at the end of the day I'll know I did it on my own without help from anyone, so at least I have that hollow victory, right? Swell.