Thursday, August 20, 2009
Your Heart Is A Strange Little Orange To Peel
I've learned something very important today: Hearts (or at least mine anyway) are spiteful, evil little creatures with suicidal tendencies, just waiting for you to break them. They are completely devoid of logic, rationale, and apparently, schadenfreude. Generally speaking, hearts are total dicks. You hear that Heart? YOU SUCK!
I'm not sure what it is about me, but I have a bad habit of falling for guys who obviously don't want me. This usually means straight guys (USUALLY, anyway). For some unexplainable reason, my Heart will actively seek out whatever will destroy it, blow it up, crush it into a million little pieces and scatter them in the wind, never to be seen again.
Hell, in the past summer, I've had two guys with whom I could have had (if not a fairytale romance) a somewhat adult relationship. They liked me. Hell, one of the guys even walked me home with his arm slung around my shoulder.
My instinct was to run. Run as far as humanly possible in the opposite direction. Maybe move to some part of the U.S., change my name and work in a charmingly quirky diner with sassy waitresses and gruff but lovable trucker patrons.
There is something fundamentally wrong with me as a human being. I think I'm defective, and I'm pretty sure I'm not under warranty.
Okay, weird ass rant over. Feel free to go about living your lives, listening to your non-fucked up hearts. I will attempt to keep my strange little Heart under control, and maybe keep it from making me do stupid shit.