There's already a famous No Whining Wednesday, but what about a day where people just complain about little things for no apparent reason? Well fuck you I'm drunk (an entire bottle of Pinot Grigio. I don't have a problem at all.) So I'm starting Whining Friday, where I (and you at home!) complain about petty little shit and get all the suckiness out of your system!
Thing That Sucks #1: My Feet
I hate my feet. I honestly really do. I stub my toes on an almost regular basis, they're always sweating for some reason, and the way I walk puts all the pressure on the ball of my foot so that I always end up getting a hole in the back of my sock. What the fuck, feet? Who gets holes in their socks that quickly? Gag, you are just the worst feet EVER.
Things That Suck #2: Chloë Sevigny and her stupid Umlaut
Seriously, how the fuck did she even win the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress? No one even watches her show anymore and her dress looked like a giant Maxi Pad. Also, an UMLAUT? Really, since when do people even use UMLAUTS anymore, unless they're being a total pretentious dickbag. Fuck you and your umlaut, Chloe.
Things That Suck #3: The alcohol content in white wine
Maybe it's just me, but white wine doesn't get me anywhere NEAR as hammered as it used to. What the fuck, white wine? I used to drink half a freaking bottle and get completely shit-faced, and now an entire bottle and I can still type semi-lucidly? Man, what the eff?
Alright, you're turn; What petty little thing makes you angry for no reason right now?