There's already a famous No Whining Wednesday, but what about a day where people just complain about little things for no apparent reason? Well fuck you I'm drunk (an entire bottle of Pinot Grigio. I don't have a problem at all.) So I'm starting Whining Friday, where I (and you at home!) complain about petty little shit and get all the suckiness out of your system!
Thing That Sucks #1: My Feet
I hate my feet. I honestly really do. I stub my toes on an almost regular basis, they're always sweating for some reason, and the way I walk puts all the pressure on the ball of my foot so that I always end up getting a hole in the back of my sock. What the fuck, feet? Who gets holes in their socks that quickly? Gag, you are just the worst feet EVER.
Things That Suck #2: Chloë Sevigny and her stupid Umlaut
Seriously, how the fuck did she even win the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress? No one even watches her show anymore and her dress looked like a giant Maxi Pad. Also, an UMLAUT? Really, since when do people even use UMLAUTS anymore, unless they're being a total pretentious dickbag. Fuck you and your umlaut, Chloe.
Things That Suck #3: The alcohol content in white wine
Maybe it's just me, but white wine doesn't get me anywhere NEAR as hammered as it used to. What the fuck, white wine? I used to drink half a freaking bottle and get completely shit-faced, and now an entire bottle and I can still type semi-lucidly? Man, what the eff?
Alright, you're turn; What petty little thing makes you angry for no reason right now?
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OK, so technically it's now Saturday but I am still going to vent!
Thud's whine #1 - My shitty body clock!
It's 06:14 here in the UK & I am awake! That's 06:14 on a Saturday morning I should be snuggled in bed cuddled up to my man but No! I am downstairs, wide awake watching Sky News & surfing t'internet! My body clock sucks BIG TIME! I would sell my soul to Satan to be able to sleep until lunchtime at the weekends!
That is all!
Love Thud "Forever the early riser" Hardbutt x
Whine: There's a hot guy whose in a long distance relationship.
I'm 90% certain he's attracted to me, from different instances and conversations. But there's a girlfriend, and she's a long way away, and I'm not a homewrecker.
At this point I just really want to get laid, and if he's not going to step up I'll find someone else. Blah. Goddamnit.
I'm a day late: my my male c-workers who leave their reading material in the stalls!!! Makes me hate the day gig even more than I do.
Thud: I know, I'm bad at that too! Honestly, I wake up at the worst times ever.
Rusty: Oooooo boy, unrequited love affairs are the fucking WORST. As someone that's put himself through three of them, it's not pretty.
James: Ugh, I have some choice words about some co-workers too :-/
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