Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Dude? Don't Be A Douche

You know you've made it in the Blagonets when you've got anonymous trolls posting on your blog. And yesterday, I totally scored my first! Awesome!

Which brings me to the subject of tonights post: The ever elusive troll. While some trolls can be successfully integrated into society by turning them into a harmlessly lovable member (See: Pookie), most tend to wander the internet with the sole purpose of just douchin' it up.

But maybe Anonymous has a point. You are all paying good money to read this, so I really should make it worth your hard-earned cash. Oh wait, that's right, it's free! Well, if you're all legally mandated to come here, I suppose it is my civil duty to make it worth your while. Oh wait, that's right, no one is forcing you at gunpoint to come here are they?

I know my blog isn't exactly Tina Fey material here, but come on, if you don't like something on the internet, there's a little red X in the upper right hand corner of your screen. Click it instead of being a whiny pussy and posting anonymous comments on some shitty backwoods blog. Or better yet, go back to googling images of dragons fucking cars or whatever weird shit it takes to get you off.

Point is, the internet is goddamn infinite. Complaining about one dinky little music player is like being offered a cookie and then bitch slapping them because they don't have the correct dough-to-chip ratio. If you don't like something, to quote my IIB, gee tee eff oh. Point is, dude? Don't be a douche.

And by the way, I fucking LOVE my music. As a matter of fact, here's some more music. Die.


Matt the Great! said...

Nice job. I hate those damn trolls. I can only imagine how miserable their lives must be. Good job!

Robert said...

Oh Jeremy ignore the loser - I am such a huge fan of your blog that my positives so outweigh anonymous’ negatives.
You are such a fucking hot, intelligent and most importantly hysterically funny dude. Jeremy Feist you rock my world man!
X Robert

Tania said...

I didn't even know you autoplayed, as I'm at work and the speaker is muted. I find that's safest!

So Anonymous came here, disliked the music, and instead of just moving on, felt s/he had to say something?

Lord Thundercox said...

Though I am not in any way "popular enough" so much that I would necessarily attract a troll, it occurs to me that I have yet to post music on my own blog. That being the case, I am at risk.

I hereby declare "Post music on your blog day," that all participants might immunize themselves from at least one idiot.

I don't know how to set up auto-play, else I would... the YouTubes shall have to suffice.

jamiepants said...

Ha, I actually came on here to talk about your awesome music taste, so its quite fitting that this is the post I'm commenting on. I just wanted to say in the Best Albums Comment Diversion...I got to #2 of yours before saying in my head This is so obviously Jeremy's list...
Fuck that guy. Sometimes I come to your blog JUST to listen to the music. Cause I don't actually like you, but I do like your music. =)

Sarah said...

Hmph. I don't know what, precisely, is wrong with that troll-thing, but it is very clearly broken. Your playlist is always awesome as hell and I have, on more than one occasion, left your blog open in another tab for like four hours straight while I work on other shit just so that I can listen to your kickass music. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned that to you before, but since I'm probably at least the fourth most forgetful person in the entire world, I am not at all positive that the telling of that actually happened. And I wanted to make sure that you knew. So here I am, telling you again. Or possibly for the first time.

Oh, and I am going to selfishly assume that the Lily Allen was extraspecially just for me. Because it is ALL ABOUT ME. Always. It's true.

Jeremy Feist said...

Matt: Indeed, they live miserable lives. Suck it!

Robert: Awwww, Rob! You're making me go all blush-ey and such!

Tania: Are we onto Douchebucket now? Awesome! I love how our swear words are constantly evolving, hahaha!

Thundercox: Indeed, I am celebrating your blessed holiday. AWESOME!!!

Sarah: You mentioned that once, yes, and it made me gleeful to absolutely no end. Eeeee! And the Lily Allen was for you, and the lyrics were for mah troll. Fuck you, fuck you very very muuuuuuuuch! Heeheehee!