Monday, March 2, 2009

Why I Refuse To Let My Mother Anywhere Near Blogger

Aside from the fact that my blog is filled with enough self-hatred, booze-driven rants and gay porn stars to give the poor bitch an aneurysm, there's also this pleasant exchange we had after I got home from kickboxing.

Mom: Did you accept Kahlua as a friend on Facebook?

Me: You created a Facebook page for our dog?

Mom: Yup. So did you accept her or not?

Me: Oh dear God, I think you just launched a new generation of cyberspinsters.

Mom: Fuck off.

Me: Spinster 2.0. Spinster Vista.

Mom: I get it. Ha. Funny. Now go take a shower, you smell like ass.

I'm afraid to ponder what kind of fuckery this new wave of tech-savvy spinsters will inflict upon us. I'm going to assume it involves Twitter.

Also, Lord Thundercox, if you're reading this, marry me. I'm sorry, but you KFM answers yesterday made me laugh hysterically in the middle of school. It also doesn't help that our sex would be fucking earth-shattering, and that Thundercox is a bitchin' last name. Word.


Lainey said...

I'ma make a page for Willow RIGHT NOW! Oooh, and then our pets can be friends!!! YAY!!!

Promise me if I ever make a page for my cat, you will kill me. Kill me in the face. PROMISE ME!!

Robert said...

For the first time here - I am totally lost for words!
x Robert

Lord Thundercox said...

I'm down.

But only if Count Von Count is in attendance.

Anna von Beaverplatz said...

I'm totally making pages for my cats.

Yes, I said pages. What, they should share?

Figgylicious said...

I've blocked my dad from seeing just about everything on my facebook. He can't even see status updates...I had to friend him because otherwise he'd feel bad (and I don't need more guilt from my dad thanks) but he can't see anything, and he doesn't even know it.

My mom is on facebook, I made her get an account so she could look at our photos, but she never, ever uses it. Probably for the best...

Jeremy Feist said...

Lainey: You have my word. I have my smothering pillow on standby.

Robert: Believe me, it was really quite weird for me too!

Thundercox: Dude, we are totally having muppets at our gay wedding, no question.

AVB: You're starting to scare me a bit here, love.

Figgy: It's times like these I'm thankful my Dad is completely e-tarded. My mother? Less so.

Anonymous said...

Autoplaying music on your blog is really obnoxious. I won't be visiting again.

Anna von Beaverplatz said...

...and yet, somehow, not as obnoxius as anonymous comments saying how obnoxious it is. OK, bye!

P.S. Jermy, I forgot to tell you that I kind of love your mom after that exchange.