Sunday, March 29, 2009

Kill, Fuck or Marry: I'm Over It, Don't Ask Edition

Hey all! Sorry for last night, it's just been a bad week that I thought was going to be a good week. But whatever. Shit happens, and if you don't let it go, you wind becoming one of those annoying ass suburban emo kids who complain about their lives on livejournal. Yeah, I know, I pretty much just fired a cannon in my little glass house, but you didn't come here for that, you came here to discuss which celebrities you would do unspeakable things to. So without further ado, the rules, bitch!

1. You're given a list of three people
2. You have to choose who to kill, who to fuck and who to marry.
3. Suicide is not an option.
4. You have to do it for both the men AND the women. It's purely hypothetical, so quit being such a pussy.
5. If you need help making up your mind, you can click on the name to see a pic.

Patrick Dempsey, Michael C. Hall, or Simon Baker?

Beyoncé, Alicia Keys or Leona Lewis?

John Cena, Sean Avery or Eli Manning?

Eva Green, Freida Pinto or Penelope Cruz?

Diesel Washington, Chris Rockway or Roman Ragazzi?

Norah Jones, Sara Bareilles or Ingrid Michaelson?

Tom Ford, Marc Jacobs or Jack Mackenroth?

Leave your answers in the comments!

7 comments:

meaux said...

*Pfft* If you can't complain about your life here, what the hell's the point of a blog?

Anyway, on to the main attraction. In K/F/M order:

1. Easy one! Dempsey/Baker/Hall (mmmmm, twisted-hot...)

2. Lewis (sorry gal, just not familiar with you)/Beyonce (not a fan, but her speaking voice is fuckin' sexy)/Keys (classy dame!).

3. Ugh, jocks...normally I'd M the hockey player, but isn't Avery the tool who made that asinine "sloppy seconds" comment? It's still a toss-up, but I think I have to K him for that, F Cena (icky), and M Manning. He looks all right.

4. Cruz (her voice is SO grating)/ Pinto/ Green (rowr!)

5. Regazzi (what is going on in his abdominal area in that picture?!)/ Rockway (despite cheesy pose)/ Washington (yummers!)

6. Don't know the second two... but, we'll say Michaelson/ Bareilles/ Jones.

7. Ummm...wow, that's really what Marc Jacobs looks like? Yikes. Jacobs/ Mackenroth (goofy-ass gun show aside)/ Ford.

Lainey said...

You know how I just had a birthday and I said I didn't feel old? Ok, well, the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) just sent me membership information (fuck OFF, AARP, I'm not even 40 yet!) and I never have any idea who the people on your KFM lists are. I'm going to start making up my own. And they're all going to be from The Brat Pack circa 1989.

I am so old...

Lizzie said...

i'm with Meaux--if you can't do some venting on your own blog, then what's the point of having one. i mean... have you ever read my blog? sheesh, all i do anymore is whine.

on to the main attraction:
1 fuck Hall, marry Baker, kill Dempsey (he's just smarmy, isn't he?)
2 kill Beyonce, marry Keys, fuck Lewis
3 fuck cena, marry avery, kill manning
4 hrmmm... fuck green, kill pinto, marry cruz
5 fuck washington, marry rockway, kill ragazzi
6 kill jones, fuck bareilles, marry michaelson
7 marry jacobs (and have lovely lovely clothes for the rest of my forever), fuck mackenroth, kill ford.

Anna von Beaverplatz said...

It's true, read Lizzie's blog... it's all "me, me, me, whaa, whaa, whaaa". (Just kidding Lizzie! Mwah*)

Well, before I get in any more trouble, here's my picks:
1)Dempsey (annoying)/Baker (cute)/Hall (knows how to hide a body)
2)Beyonce (annoying)/Lewis (better than Beyonce)/Keys (l-o-v-e)
3)Cena (movies are crap)/Avery (hot)/Manning (yum)
4)Cruz (mostly by default, I don't really have anything against her)/Pinto/Green (hot and French)
5)Ragazzi/Rockaway (although his neck is too big)/Washington (yum. Also, he looks sweet.)
6)Bareilles/Michaelson/Jones (she is gorgeous and that voice! she could sing ot me forever)
7)Jacobs (default, because yikes, though I love his stuff)/Mackenroth/Ford (he's delicious and filthy stinking rich! what more could you ask for? Personality, schmersonality, I always say.)

Lizzie said...

One of these days, AvB! *shakes fist at you* Bang, zoom! Straight to tha moon!

Figgylicious said...

1. Marry, kill, fuck [though I don't know if I could stay married to someone with prettier hair than mine]
2. kill, marry, fuck
3. Uhh. Pass. All hideous.
4. kill, fuck, marry [I bet Cruz know awesome spanish recipes]
5. fuck, marry, kill [figmind: "Oooh! OOOOOOH! eeww..."]
6. marry, kill, fuck [Norah is so pretty]
7. marry, fuck, kill [eewwwwwww at the second one eeeww]

Hope you feel better, gorgeous :)

Oh Lainey that's just a low fucking blow. Bastards!

Anonymous said...

Round 1: The Sexy "experienced" Man
Kill:Simon Baker - His eyebrows freak me out for some reason. (Just watch Devil wears Prada)
Fuck:Patrick Dempsey (just to see what the fuss is about at Seattle Grace)
Marry:Michael C Hall (Think he'll murder me if a bad boy?)

Round 2: R&B Diva
Kill:Beyonce (I'm with Etta on this one.)
Fuck:Leona Lewis
Marry:Alicia Keyes

Round 3: Jock & Roll
Kill:Sean Avery
Fuck:John Cena (his movies are shit, but he's fucking goregous)
Marry:Eli Manning (Cause you can totally bring him home to mom.)

Round 4: Sexy "Ethnic" Actress
Kill:Penelope Cruz (She was not that great Vicky Cristina Barcelona)
Fuck:Eva Green (She's a Bond Girl, so that's all she's pretty much good for. :))
Marry:Freida Pinto

Round 5: Gay for Pay PornStars
Kill:Roman Ragazzi (there's guido, and then there's guido )
Fuck:Diesel Washington (I love me some chocolate yum!)
Marry: Chris Rockway ( I <3 Randy Blue)

Round 6: The Singer-Songwriters
Kill:Ingrid Michaelson
Fuck:Norah Jones
Marry:Sarah Bareilles (She wrote a song, telling the music industry to basically go fuck itself, and it became a huge hit)

Round 7: Gay Fashion Icons
Kill:Marc Jacobs
Fuck:Jack Macenroth
Marry:Tom Ford (And try to produce many, many babies with him. As they say practice makes perfect.)