Sunday, June 7, 2009
An Average Night at Adonis
A few things I've noticed while working at Adonis:
- All customers will try to hook up with you in the same basic way: First, they will ask you to go back to their place in broken English. You will say "No" without even having to think about it. He will completely disregard your response, and ask you again, going into great detail and using the most vulgar terms possible. You will say "No" again. Finally, they will offer you $100 to spend the night with them, despite the fact that you can make way more by having sex with someone less disgusting for far less time. You will say "No", then ditch their dumb ass. Thankfully, the music is usually loud enough that you can tell them to go fuck themselves in no uncertain terms without their knowledge.
- Despite telling them numerous times that their is no grabbing of the junk during lap dances, this will not stop customers from playing "Chicken" with your junk, seeing how far they can go before you brush off their perv-o mitts. No amount of signs are protestations will convince them to stop being such a friggin' douche.
- Drinking too much is a VERY bad idea, as doing so will only lead to you to do stupid shit and give your cell number to guys who don't seem to realize that your not answering calls means "Leave me the fuck alone, man skank, 'cause you're not stickin' your sausage in my hot pocket".
- All strip clubs apparently employ at least one charity case that makes all other dancers look better by comparison. You'll probably feel bad for thinking this, until you realize that literally EVERYONE else is thinking the EXACT SAME THING.
- The other dancers are total sweethearts, although they do have a rather strange habit of breaking out into song. In disturbingly good unison I might add. It treads the line between impressive and terrifying.