Monday, June 15, 2009

Game Over

Yeah, about the whole "White Flag" thing I had going with mom? Well, that ceasefire ended about as quickly as I thought it would be sincerely wished it wouldn't have. Oh joy. My crippling fear of rejection is not helping matters either, so needless to say, not in a happy place right now.

The weird thing is, I thought we were doing pretty well. Everything seemed to be on the way to sunshine and happiness, and then BAM! She emotionally blindsides me while we're walking the dog. Ooooo, hold up, it gets better: She called me a stupid child, said she was ashamed of me and that I had to start paying for myself.

I'm just ecstatically happy right now. Can't you tell?

Oh wait wait wait...It gets better: My mom texted me while I was at Adonis saying that I didn't love her and I had an emotional breakdown upstairs in the break room. Awesome!

But whatever. I've decided not to talk to her until she starts acting her age, instead of acting like a spoiled child who didn't get their way. You know what? Yeah, she's hurting, but so am I. The difference is, I actually care about her feelings. Oh, and I;m not accusing her of not loving me. So until she's willing to calm down and have a rational discussion? Nuh-uh. I'm not playing these weird little mind games.


Mareczku said...

Jeremy, perhaps your brother needs to tell your mom that you have a crippling fear of rejection and that she needs to go easy on you. At this point it sounds like you and your mom need to go easy on each other.

Hugs - Mareczku

Bigg said...

Parents are people too. Sometimes they act irrationally out of emotion. I think that refusing to validate her irrational behavior toward you is good. I also think ignoring her when she's ready to make sense because you're still angry would be bad. Does that help? I sure hope so. I certainly wish you all the best things, luck included.

Anonymous said...

god hold you and keep you dear, i wish you every success and happiness in this, i know you dont know who i am, and vice versa, but if you need a vacation, i'm willing to help, and not in a perv bot way, more in a been there done that, tried to kill my self over it, and hoping that you will have it better, take care mate, keep hoping, this too will pass