Monday, June 1, 2009

Terminator Drags Me Up to Hell

Okay, so having seen the first three of my Top 10 Most Anticipated Summer Movies, I think it's time to do a quick recap of the lot.

Terminator: Salvation


- Sam Worthington made me happy in the pants
- Things went boom
- Christian Bale was in it? Does that count?


- Ear-bleedingly bad dialogue.
- Gratuitous shout-outs ("Look! He said 'I'll be back!' Terrific.")
- Plot made shitballs sense.

Haiku Review:

All I can say is
Wow was this disappointing
Wasted potential



- Beautiful, emotionally deep story
- Absolutely beautiful artwork
- Characters were hysterically funny, but still entirely endearing


- So beautiful, 3-D didn't add much to it.
- ...Can't think of anything else bad about it.
- Terminator still sucked though

Haiku Review:

What else can I say?
Sweet, charming and endearing
And you will cry hard

Drag Me To Hell


- Legitimately scary. No, seriously.
- Disgusting, absurd, but in the good way.
- Surprisingly well-written story


- Not really funny
- Not much of a backstory to the crazy gypsy lady
- I may or may not have peed my pants

Haiku Review

Holy fucking shit
I may have pissed myself
You should wear Depends.


Robert said...

Jeremy, I can't wait for "Up" to come to Oz (next month I think!) and after reading your "mini" review I wait here downunder fiddling with my piercings with even more excited anticipation.
x Robert

Lainey said...

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I really want to see Drag Me to Hell! I don't normally like scary movies, but I'm so intrigued by the reviews (and TK's squealing at SXSW - teehee!)

I hope you'll do haiku poems for the rest of the movies you see this summer! Haiku amuses me far more than it should.