Well, I feel like a big ol' bag of grade-A douche. Picture the biggest douche you've ever seen, multiply it by a thousand, and you still won't come anywhere near to how big of a douche I am right now. I told my parents everything, and while my Dad took it with disturbing ease, my mom is, in no uncertain terms, pissed out of her skull. I think more than anything it's the fact that I lied to her (strike one), although the fact that I'm in the business of pleasure sure doesn't help matters (strike two). Tack on the fact that I actually made my older brother cry (strike three) and I'm now sorely tempted to end myself for being such an unmitigated sack of shit.
Anyways, while I absolutely despise whiny blog posts, I'm gonna go all S&M on you here and ask you to hate me right now. Take all your frustrations and just dump them on me right now. No, I am entirely serious. I need someone to kick my ass for being such a piece of shit. Don't bother posting wishing me the best or anything. Do that tomorrow or something. For now, let me have it. Throw it all at me right now. Although I do bring up the 30 Rock rule of "Nothing that plugs in".
So, let me have it. Get your haterade on and leave me some shit in the comments, free of charge.