I'm currently in an apartment in Toronto's gay village. There's 3/4 of a pint of Ben & Jerry's in the freezer, and a double-headed dildo resting on the TV six feet away. In the corner is a complete light and camera set, and hanging from my shower-head is a douche that looks like it was created by H.R. Giger on an acid bender. The first thing I encountered upon entering my apartment was a staggeringly well-built latino guy with his hands down the front of his Ginch Gonch. Tomorrow, I'll be getting railed by an incredibly sexalicious, tattoed guy in exchange for wads of cash.
This is the single greatest vacation in my life. Even better than Disney World. Seriously, when was the last time you went to The Magic Kingdom only to be greeted by a guy milking his snake? Exactly.