Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Wherein I Shamelessly Steal From Lainey

Thanks for the game Lainey! Yes, I'm totally jacking this from you because I'm terribly lazy like that.

The game is called "I Never", and basically, all you do is list off things you've never done. Let's rock this bitch!

I've Never Been To A High School Dance

Our school used to throw dances all the time, and I never went to ONE of them. I mean, I went to Prom, but in all fairness, I was fairly plastered at the time.

I've Never Had a Boyfriend

Yeah, how depressing is that? I can fuck someone on camera and take off all my clothes in front of an entire room of people, but put me in front of someone I like and my mouth goes all dry and my legs go shakey and I start to stutter and look at my shoes.

I've Never Eaten at Taco Bell

Honestly? Never. I've seen commercials for them I guess, but I've never actually eaten there. I'm not that big on Mexican food to be honest with you.

I've Never Kissed a Girl

I'm sure one day I'd be willing to drink massive amounts of booze and make out with a chick, but right now? Yeah, so far, it's been a no-go.

I've Never Been to a Concert

This really makes no sense considering the insane amount of CDs I have already. But honestly? I've never gone out to see a concert. On the plus side, St. Vincent is playing in Montreal in August, so I'd kinda like her to be my first. That sounded dirty.

I've Never Gotten High

I think I mentioned this in a previous post, but I think the most I've ever done was a hit of weed, and even I'm not big enough of a lightweight to succumb to one hit of the stick stuff.

I've Never Been to a Bar/Bat Mitzvah

This one makes me sad. I've always wanted to go to one of these, but I don't think I had a single Jewish friend growing up (though in all fairness, the guy I lost my v-chip to was Jewish, although he was also a dick). Bummer.

I've Never Had a Manhunt Account

The impact of this probably won't hit anyone without a gay bone in their body, but yeah, I've never gotten on and subsequently gotten off, to paraphrase their slogan.

I've Never Used Photoshop

I blame this entirely on the fact that I'm a total retard. So far, I've survived entirely on MS Paint, although I'm not sure if that's impressive or just depressing. It's a toss-up, really. Here's a pretty representative sample of my MS Paint expertise.

You know what? I'm just gonna file this under "Sad".

I've Never Done That Stupid Soulja Boi Dance

You know the one I'm talking about, right? The one where you crank things and Superman hoes? Yeah, never learned how to do that, and to be honest with you, I have no intention of ever learning how to.


Jay said...

So I gotta take six drinks, then?

Lainey said...

You know how much I value laziness. I say anytime you can embrace the beauty of laziness by stealing someone else's post, you've had a successful day! Congrats, my dear! ;)

I've never had anyone copy my blog before. I enjoy it immensely.

I've never had sex in a car.

I'm sure there are more, but my brain is done for the day. Night night!

Robert said...

I have never had sex in front of a camera and I have never danced naked at a club. However, I have done a lot of other things that have pushed boundaries - but you are two up on me lol!
x Robert

Mareczku said...

I have never done a lot of that stuff either, Jeremy. I have never even been drunk. (Got you on that one.) But I'm married so I have kissed a girl. LOL That is good that maybe your family can figure out a way to get you out of your lease. You know that they love you and will help you. It must be discouraging to be treated in such a manner by your employers. I suppose it is one of life's sad lessons.