What Was Really Wrong With Wall-E

So for those of you read one of my earlier posts, I saw Wall-E and liked it. Well, actually, I loved it. It's with a double edged sword that I say that the title character had more emotion and empathy than most of the blond, tanned drones that seem to clutter films today. I ended up stumbling onto this article, a guide to all the inane reasons why someone might not like Wall-E. I wasn't surprised in the least. When someone or something receives mainstream attention for artistic merit (see: Feist, Juno), there of course comes along the numerous cynics, drunk on the haterade. And so it was with Wall-E.

I'll be the first to say that while Wall-E was one of the most accurate movies on the subject of love since Eternal Sunshine, the message of environmentalism and over-reliance on technology was a bit heavy handed. But really, you must either have cojones the size of garbage trucks or a brain the size of an M&M to call Wall-E "an assault on modern civilization" (thank you, Gennady Stolyarov II, for the endless dribble of stupid leaking out of your face hole). I mean really, it's a kids movie! Whether you believe in global warming or not, we can all agree that we do have an impact on the planet. Is it really too much to ask that you dispose of garbage and recycle what you can? So the message wasn't what was wrong with Wall-E.

The next group of people to be upset? Fat people. I'll agree with you guys that, yes, fat people are discriminated against for not being able to conform to an unrealistic and unhealthy body image issue, and that some people are genetically coded to be fat (a persons ability to store fat was what actually allowed them to survive the ice age. Suck it, skinny people!). But let's face facts: Massive intake of calories + low output of energy = unhealthy amounts of fat. No matter who you are, if you have more fat than your body is built for, it is unhealthy. Though, as a guy who had a seven-month affair with anorexia, I'm probably not the most knowledgeable on the subject. So that wasn't what ruined Wall-E.

Then there are those who say that Wall-E is hypocritical, because it bashes over marketing while being pimped out like it's raining money. I would like to take this moment to point out the difference between WRITING and MARKETING. Writing is an art form, and for real writers, the purpose is to convey a moral message. Marketing is about taking something people will want, and using it to convey a different message: Buy me. Do you see the difference? Moving on.

Now do you want to know what ruined Wall-E?

YOU. YOU RUINED WALL-E.

If someone overindulges on chocolate, and then proceeds to vomit like Linda Blair after downing a forty of ipecac, which do you blame: the person, or the chocolate? The person, obviously, but in today's world, free of personal responsibility, said person could probably sue the company for forcing him to buy an eat said chocolate. So it is with Wall-E: people binged on the movie, not for it's great writing or profound sentiment, but because of the (admittedly) adorable robot. So obviously, people decide to counteract this, not by telling the people that they should be focusing more on aspects other than the visuals, but by blindly hating a movie because it is popular.

I'm calling bullshit on this one. Where were these people when Norbit rose to the top of the box office? Why is it okay for people to encourage bad film-making, but flocking to a legitimately good movie is seen as taboo? There is absolutely no logic behind this. Though considering the people I was forced to watch the movie with, I may jump on board the bandwagon, if only to tell airheaded patrons to please, PLEASE shut up so I can watch the movie in piece.

So the one thing that ruined Wall-E was all the people who turned the movie into something it was not. As Freud said, sometimes a cigar is just a good smoke.