Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen: The Shitlist

Seeing as how the last couple posts have pretty much been flat out news, I decided to add a new feature to the blog: The Shitlist.

That sounds fascinating...at least in comparison to the rest of this textual abomination you call a blog. How does it work?

Thanks for asking. You see, I'm a blogger. Bloggers hate things. But some things annoy me so much that it physically hurts me to type their names. Therefore, when someone pisses me off by being an asshole of O'Reilly-esque proportions, they are added to the shitlist and given a codename befitting their general douchosity. So without further ado, here are the first three additions to The Shitlist

#1: The Succubus, AKA Paris Hilton

You knew this was coming, didn't you? I'm sure that somewhere deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, DEEP down, she's probably a decent person. But let's face it, Paris Hilton is everything that is wrong with the world. She's rich and famous because she allows herself to be a stereotype of a woman. She contributes nothing to society (aside from the occasional VD), yet demands respect from all those around her, despite not even attempting to earn it.

#2: Venom Vag, AKA Tila Tequila

Tila Tequila is, quite literally, a virus. First, she invaded the internet by fake friending everyone on Myspace. That bitch was more popular than Tom, for Fuck's sake. Then she parlayed her fake bisexuality into an MTV "Reality" show, where she pretends to love people for money. I can handle this. But the, she suddenly thinks that she was the reason that California allowed same-sex marriages.


You have got to be kidding me. Has this bitch never heard of the Stonewall Riots? Matthew Shepherd? No, Tila thinks because she pretends to find people attractive, we get our basic human rights. Uh-huh, yeah, no. For being completely out of touch with reality, you're on the shitlist.

1 comment:

mascdudewriter said...

I've always thought Zeb was overrated anyway.