Well, I'm leaving the country to go camping for the weekend, and I'll be back sometime Monday. Until then, you're just going to have to get your unfunny pseudo-news written by a retarded slut somewhere else. Might I suggest Jezebel? Anyways, to keep y'all satisfied, here's one last News On Bar Napkins before I go.
In more Christian Bale news, his mother and sister may or may not be part-time clowns, and his sister may or may not have called his wife a whore. I cannot make this shit up. WIMB
Anne Hathaway's Diaries are being confiscated by the FBI for evidence against her ex-boyfriend. Let the Princess Diaries jokes start in 3, 2, 1...(Celebitchy)
Marc Jacobs is marrying his boyfriend of seven months in Paris this weekend... And then, just to fuck with all of us, he's going to marry Jason Preston and Erik Rhodes. (PR Inside)
In "This Is Complete Bullshit And The American Justice System Is Five Kinds Of Fucked" News, Lawrence King's 14-year old killer is going to be tried as an adult. Double. You. Tea. Eff. (Towleroad)
Nintendo can fucking suck it. This comic pretty much sums up why. (VG Cats)
And Pajiba has some sexy new shirts. Me Likey! (Pajiba!)
So I'm off, see you guys later! Here's something to keep you occupied...
Meep meep meep!