Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Crazy Book Lady

Okay, so today I realized that (A) I have a marketing test tomorrow, and (B) I still hadn't bought the friggin' book yet. Balls. Anyways, I bought a cup of Tim Hortons on my way in and ran to the bookstore so I could spend the equivalent of a second mortgage on a book I would only use for about four months.

Anyways, it doesn't really help that the damn thing is organized into what can really only be defined as the clusterfuck to end all clusterfucks. Apparently, they managed to score the same interior designer who thought up every single ring of hell. Dante himself would probably have gone apeshit in this place.

After about 20 minutes of searching, I finally found the book I was looking for on a pile in the english section. Yup, English. Honestly, it's as if they just said "Fuck it" and threw an active grenade into a book warehouse. But whatevs. The moment I picked it up, this crazy bitch comes running at me screaming "NO COFFEE IN THE BOOKSTORE!"

I probably would have laughed if I wasn't in complete shock. The way the bitch came at me, you'd think I was waving around a couple of loaded AK-47s like a pair of very deadly pom-poms and declaring Jihad on overpriced books.

But of course, Crazy Book Lady looked like she was a couple dicks short of a gangbang, so I gave her the same soothing voice I use when talking to people who are clearly off their shit. "Okay, sorry, I'm just...gonna go pay for this book. Okay? Okay." I proceeded to back off whilst she gave me crazy eyes that seemed to indicate that I would be shanked if I didn't get my flat ass out of their.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, it was Kahlua's first birthday a couple days ago. Therefore, here some gratuitous pics of my little baby girl. Cheers!

Also, Hello to new follower Lord Thundercox. BEST. NAME. EVER.


Rusty said...

I'm jealous of your follower section. It's so BIG.

And your dog is adorable. Happy Birthday!

Robert said...

Oh Jeremy,
Please, please can I use the phrase "a couple dicks short of a gangbang" - hysterical lol!
x Robert

meaux said...

Aww, happy birthday Kahlua! My, how she's grown.

Yeah, loved the "couple of dicks short of a gang-bang" too. Also, "the same interior designer who thought up every single ring of hell" made me laugh out loud.

Jeremy Feist said...

Rusty: I know, look how big it is! And I haven't even started taking off my clothes yet!

Robert: Go ahead, sug, it's all yours.

Meaux: Take 'em honey, free words for all!