Sunday, February 8, 2009

Kill, Fuck Or Marry #2

Well, it's Sunday, and you know what that means: Time for the weekly Kill, Fuck Or Marry! The rules, once again:

1. You're given a list three people
2. You have to choose who to kill, who to fuck and who to marry.
3. Suicide is not an option.
4. You have to do it for both the men AND the women. It's purely hypothetical, so quit being such a pussy.
5. If you need help making up your mind, you can click on the name to see a pic.

Clive Owen, Jason Statham or James McAvoy?

Christina Applegate, Katherine Heigl or Elizabeth Banks?

Tom Brady, David Beckham or Rafael Nadal?

Zooey Deschanel, Natalie Portman or Keri Russell?

Wolf Hudson, Mason Wyler or Brent Corrigan?

Drew Barrymore, Maggie Gyllenhaal or Ellen Page?

Jon Hamm, Gerard Butler or Edward Norton?

Once again, leave your results in the comments.


Marra Alane said...

1. Marry James McAvoy (he's adorable!), fuck the shit out of Jason Statham, and kill Clive Owen

2. Marry Elizabeth, fuck Heigl (that's what ball-gags are for) and kill Christina Applegate

3. Marry Tom Brady (hometown hero), fuck David Beckham, and kill Rafael Nadal. I mean, I'd feel bad about it, but he's so gay even I can't fantasize about him, and all I do is hit on gay guys.

4. Marry Zooey, natch; fuck Natalie, kill Keri (she's adorable, but adorable is not what I look for in women)

5. Kill Brent Corrigan because he looks like he's 12 and I'm not going to jail for this game, fuck Wolf Hudson, even though he's wearing ducttape underwear, and mary Mason, because he's just fucking gorgeous.

6. Marry Ellen, cuz she's probably a dyke anyway; fuck maggie cuz she'd be kinky, and kill drew barrymore.

7. Marry Jon Hamm, fuck Gerard Butler, kill Edward Norton. He's a dick, and at 23 I'm too old for him.

meaux said...

Oh, you're making it really difficult this time!

In M/F/K order:

1. Clive (oh lord, yes!)/depending on my mood, the other two in either order. They're both immensely fuckable. I think I'd ever so slightly lean toward fucking Statham and (with heavy heart) killing poor wee James.

2. Banks/Applegate/Heigl. There was a time when I might have given pause to killing Heigl, but then she started saying stupid stuff in public and appearing in dumb-ass chick flicks.

3. Eh, not into jocks so much, but...let's say Nadal (what does he play? Who cares, he's cute.)/Brady/annoyingly ubiquitous Becks. (I'm sorry, is that his kid's name tattooed above his ass? EWWWW!!!)

4. Hmm, toughie...they're all pretty likable-not-lustable to me. Okay, I think I'll go Natalie/Zooey/Keri.

5. Eep, don't have a clue who these lads are! Okay, Brent's young but very yummy (a la Daniel Radcliffe), and Mason's wholesome-cute. Wolf's not my type. So we'll put 'em in that order.

6. Ellen (hometown girl, yo!)/Drew/Maggie. Drew's quite likable sometimes, though other times she's downright irritating (and she did not look good in "He's Just Not That Into You," which her stupid production company inflicted on me). However, Maggie looks a lot like a bitchy girl I knew who used to intimidate the hell out of me, and I don't think I could get past that, regardless of her general coolness.

7. Edward Norton (again, oh lord yes!)...ummm...Butler/Hamm. I'm quite unfamiliar with Hamm, though he's certainly not hard on the eyes, but I'd have a devil of a time killing someone with such a hot accent as Butler's.

Love the weekly KFM! Have you given thought to theme weeks? Like, say, a Canadian edition, or hot Brits, or old-time classics? Oh, so much potential!

Heehee, my verification word is "hornman"--sometimes, I'd swear Blogger has a sense of humour!

Lainey said...

I'll try this mostly because the word verification is "laniz", which is OBVIOUSLY French for Lainey and it seems like a sign.

1) Marry the wee James McAvoy because he's darling and pretty. Fuck Jason Statham until I have to be hospitalized. Kill Clive Owen. That man does *nothing* for me.

2) Marry Christina Applegate because she's darling and pretty. Fuck Elizabeth until I have to be hospitalized. Kill Heigl because she's Heigl.

3) Marry David Beckham, but assume that we'll be divorcing soon because boy don't seem extra special smart, you know? I have no idea who Rafael Nadal is. Tennis? Sure, I'll fuck him. Kill Brady. Nothing personal.

4) Marry Keri, mostly because it rhymes. Fuck Zooey and make her sing to me while we're doin' it. Kill Natalie. Again, nothing personal, Nat.

5) No clue who any of those boys are and I'm not looking them up because Marra's comments make me fear that I'll bring up child porn and I like 'em young, but not that fucking young. NEXT.

6) Of COURSE I'd marry Drew. And hopefully fuck her a lot. Like A LOT. Fuck Ellen, I guess. She might be a good cuddler. Maggie's voice bugs, so I'd have no problem killing her.

7) Marry Jon Hamm. Honestly, I had no opinion of him at all until this week's "30 Rock". He's darling. Fuck Gerard and hope he says dirty, dirty things with that awesome Scottish burr. Kill Norton. He creeps me out.

Fun, Jeremy Darling!

dammitjanet said...

Well, so far, this one looks easier.....oh, I was WRONG!!!

Ummm, oh, god....I think I would marry Clive Owen--cuz a man who can kill someone with a carrot might be handy to keep around, fuck Jason Statham (I'm on the fence here!!) and kill the cute little James McAvoy

Easier....KILL RAINBOW KILLER!!! Katherine Heigl, fuck Elizabeth Banks (girl would be a freak!!) and marry the adorable Christina Applegate.

MUCH EASIER...since I'm a Colts fan, KILL TOM BRADY, marry David Beckham (strictly for his $$) and fuck Rafael Nadal.

Tougher, again...Fuck Zooey Deschanel, kill Natalie Portman (YOU HELPED KILL STAR WARS!!!) and marry Keri Russell

I don't know any of these guys, so I take a pass......
Wolf Hudson, Mason Wyler or Brent Corrigan?

Oh, this is easy...fuck Drew Barrymore (again, FREAK!), kill Maggie Gyllenhaal and marry the adorable Ellen Page

I don't watch Mad Men, so I will kill Jon Hamm, marry Gerard Butler (sing to ME!!!) and fuck Edward Norton

Mr. Controversy said...

Once more, in respective order:

Tier 1: Statham, McAvoy, Owen

Tier 2: Heigl, Applegate, Banks

Tier 3: Beckham, Brady, Nadal (merely by default...slim pickins here.)

Tier 4: (Note: Tier 4 is this week's "toughest call in the universe" tier.) Deschanel (followed by vigorous resuscitation),Portman, Russell

Tier 5: (Note: this week's "Abstinence tier" is Tier 5.) Present.

Tier 6: Page, Gyllenhaal, Barrymore

Tier 7: Norton, Butler, Hamm

Julie said...

1. Kill Clive Owen (oof, that hurts to type), fuck James McAvoy, and marry Jason Statham. I want years and years of that man inside me, once would never be enough.

2. Kill Heigl, fuck Applegate (she's cute), and marry Banks because I love her and want to have her giggly babies.

3. Kill Brady because he beat my team in the Superbowl, fuck Beckham, and marry Nadal. And I want him to bring the tennis racket to the bedroom.

4. Kill Russell, fuck Portman, and marry Zooey.

5. :sobs: Kill Corrigan because he's young and pretty and too good for this world, fuck Hudson but hatefully, and marry Wyler.

6. Kill Gyllenhaal and get Sarsgaard to myself, fuck Barrymore, and marry Ellen Page.

7. Kill Norton (we'll always have Keeping the Faith), fuck Butler, and marry Jon Hamm. Words can not do justice to the appeal of that man, so I'll just sit here and fantasize.