Sunday, February 1, 2009

Kill, Fuck Or Marry #1

Alright, so a new feature here called "Kill, Fuck Or Marry" Sundays! For those of you who have never played it, the rules for Kill, Fuck Or Marry go as such:

1. You're given a list three people
2. You have to choose who to kill, who to fuck and who to marry.
3. Suicide is not an option.
4. You have to do it for both the men AND the women. It's purely hypothetical, so quit being such a pussy.
5. If you need help making up your mind, you can click on the name to see a pic.

Ryan Reynolds, Christian Bale or Robert Downey Jr.?

Tina Fey, Chelsea Handler or Sarah Silverman?

Feist, Neko Case or Cat Power?

Pierre Fitch, Turk Mason/Melrose/Whatevs, or Ralph Woods?

Kate Winslet, Kristen Bell or Salma Hayek?

Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel or Nathan Fillion?

Trent Reznor, Josh Homme or Thom Yorke?

Leave your results in the comments below.


Matt the Great! said...

I love the pics. Nice selections. OK, I'm not going to reveal all my answers here. I'll just say "Sorry Batman, better luck next time."

Rusty said...

Second to last one is easy; kill the Diesel (nothing personal, but he's clearly the outlier), fuck Fillion, and Marry Dwayne Johnson.

The rest I have to think about a little more.

Mr. Controversy said...

Ok, these are all in respective "Kill, Fuck, Marry" order:

Tier 1: Ryan, Robert, Christian

Tier 2: Chelsea, Sarah, Tina

Tier 3: Neko, Cat, Feist.

Tier 4: I have to reject the lot. Sorry, but I just think they all look like candidates for Hot Chicks with Douchebags. (I'm picky.)

Tier 5: Kristen (but I'd search feverishly for a revival method), Salma, Kate

Tier 6: Vin, Dwayne, Nathan

Tier 7: Thom, Josh, Trent

dammitjanet said...

Ryan Reynolds, Christian Bale or Robert Downey Jr.? Easy----Kill RR, fuck the HELL out of RDJ & marry CB

Tina Fey, Chelsea Handler or Sarah Silverman? kill SS (god, she's only funny SOMETIMES!!!), fuck CH, and marry Tina Fey for years of fun

Feist, Neko Case or Cat Power?
ooo, tougher....uh...kill Feist, fuck Cat Power, marry Neko Case??

Pierre Fitch, Turk Mason/Melrose/Whatevs, or Ralph Woods? wtf??? random....kill #2, fuck #3, marry #1???

Kate Winslet, Kristen Bell or Salma Hayek? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME???? I'm afraid I'd have to kill Kristen, fuck Salma (fluffy, fluffy pillows) and marry Kate

Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel or Nathan Fillion? MUCH easier.....kill Vin, fuck Dwayne and marry Capt. Hammer (the hammer is his penis!!)

Trent Reznor, Josh Homme or Thom Yorke? WHOA! Uh, I think I'd fuck Trent, marry Thom and kill Josh...oh, damn, that's hard!!!

meaux said...

OK, I'm assuming we get to fuck our spouse on a regular basis, the other is a one-time meaningless screw, right?

In kill/fuck/marry order:

1. Ryan/Christian/Robert
2. Sarah (hands down--can't stand this woman!)/Chelsea/Tina
3. Don't really know these gals well enough (can name a couple of Feist tunes but that's it), so based on photos... Neko/Cat/Feist
4. Again based purely on photos, and with the caveat that none of them are really my physical type, Ralph/Pierre/Turk (and boy, do I feel like one misguided cougar right now...)
5. Kristen/Salma/Kate
6. Aww, come on, can't I have two kills here? Okay, fine... Vin/*cough, spit* Dwayne *gag*/Nathan
7. Trent/Josh/Thom...mmm, Thom....

Jeremy Feist said...

Matt: Aww, way to chicken out!

Rusty: You better be thinking about it, sug! :P

Mr. Controversy: Hate to say it, but concerning #4, there is not a single part of that sentence that can be considered accurate.

Dammitjanet: Say WHAAAAA? You killed both Turk AND Feist? You're dead to me Janet! Dead like Lincoln!

Meaux: Pretty good choices. Would have fucked Trent, though. I'll be sure to add some guys with a bit of hair on their chests next week for you, then.

dammitjanet said...

but, in my defense...I can't see the pictures at work! I don't know who Turk is!!!!

please, sir, I beg more chance!!!!

Marra Alane said...

Fine, fine. I'll play already!

1. Marry Ryan, fuck Downey (repeatedly), kill Bale

2. Tina, Chelsea, Sarah. Chelsea just seems kinky to me, and I admire that in women I'm hypothetically fucking

3. Feist, Cat Power, Neko

4. Ralph Woods, Turk, Pierre. I hate tattoos on guys.

5. Kate Winslet, Salma, Bell

6. Marry marry marry Nathan, fuck the shit out of Dwayne, and kill Vin Diesel in a firey blaze

7. Marry Josh, fuck Reznor, kill Thom

Julie said...

1. Kill Bale, fuck Downey Jr., marry Reynolds
2. Kill Handler, fuck Silverman, marry Fey
3. Kill Case, fuck Power, marry Feist
4. Oh GOD DAMN it Jeremy! These boys make me CLOSE my legs. Ok, kill Fitch, fuck Woods, marry Mason.
5. Kill Bell (but I don't WANT to), fuck Hayek, marry Winslet.
6. Kill Diesel (I think he's so fucking gross), Fuck Johnson (mmm hmm), marry Fillion.
7. Kill Homme, fuck Reznor, marry Yorke.