Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The Fail Whale Smells And Has Fat Ankles
I hate you, Fail Whale. It's no secret that my obsession with Twitter has gotten to the point where I may or may not have pawned off my Dad's TV in order to pay for my internet connection. But of course, there's always one asshole who comes in and fucks shit up. That asshole is the Fail Whale.
Fuck you, Fail Whale! Whales are not supposed to fly, they are supposed to swim. KNOW YOUR PLACE, WILLY! And he's not even flying, he's making a bunch of fucking birds haul his fat ass around. You know what we call people like that? Mooches. And when someone's a mooch, we fart on their pillows and pee in their shampoo.
Not only is this tubby motherfucker a total ripoff artist, he also steals your profile pictures and your messages. He's like that super annoying roommate who eats all the Oreos and then doesn't bother replacing them.
I hope you choke on a chode, Fail Whale. Dick.
Oh, and because Metric's new album, Fantasies dropped today, here's their new video for "Gimme Sympathy". Cheers!