Thursday, April 30, 2009

Tea And Armageddon

Sorry for the lack of updates for the past couple days. Unfortunately, between being a student, a restaurant server, a porn star and a stipper, my time to do pretty much anything is slowly but surely dwindling. It also doesn't help that, thanks to water damage, we're missing a wall in our house.

Oh, and this morning my dog had her first period on my bed. Super.

So far, the new job is going rather well. I'm making pretty good money, the guys I work with are really nice, and the work is rather easy. What I'm less thrilled about is that, well, I'm now starting to get attention from people with a pretty singularly tracked mind. I mean, I'm flattered when guys tell me I'm hot and when they tell me I like my blog, but from there they tend to segue directly to "So you wanna have sex?" Needless to say, I now have a greater sympathy for Erik Rhodes. The fact that he hasn't gone all Tarantino is argument enough for canonization.

Don't get me wrong, I love sex. Really, I do. In fact, I'm contractually obligated to love it. But really, what the hell ever happened to dating? You know, going out to dinner, seeing a movie...hell, is it too much to ask for a freaking cup of coffee? As much as I absolutely adore getting fucked, I just want a little romance is all.

Sorry about that, just needed to let that air out. Honestly, for every single-minded a-hole I've met so far, I've met about a hundred incredibly sweet, funny and caring people.

Anyhoodle, this past week I've been busy applying to just about every single porn studio and their dog.* Thus far, my pleading little cries have been sent to Channel 1, Hot House and Lucas Entertainment. This is where you, my dear faithful readers, come in. Your job, should you choose to accept it (Pretty please?) is to get me a freaking job. It's called "Operation Get Jeremy Feist A Freaking Job".

No, I did not put much effort into that name, and it shows. I'm deeply ashamed of this.

Point is, I need some blog-o-buzz. People who drop my name will be rewarded with generous thanks, and this coupon for a free beej which you may print out and redeem whenever you see me.
(Thanks to Natalie Dee)

Alrighty, so you know the drill people, help me get a freaking job!

*Not literally of course. That would be bestiality.


Anna von Beaverplatz said...

Hey stripper! You already have, like, 5 jobs! How about if *you* find *me* a job? (Oh, wait... I already have a job too. Fine. Here's your new job: you get to be my sugar daddy. Which would work out *so well* if you were straight, 30 years older, and actually wealthy. Sigh. Nevermind.)

Good luck!

TK said...

I know I'm probably focusing on the wrong thing but... why isn't your dog spayed?

Rusty said...

I think I've already linked you a couple of times, but I'll see what I can do. As for what YOU can do in return… click on my ads. And get other people to, I get like 80 cents every time someone does and if no one does it's like 1 cent a day or something ridiculous.

Robert said...

On the job already Jeremy - I'll take care of the Southern Hemisphere lol!
x Robert

Robert said...

I am sorry that fame is a shit already!

Alec Sarkas said...

Woo-hoo for dating!

harlequin said...

i look forward to reading your entries all the time, thanks for making my days at work a little more entertaining. I don't know what i can do to help you get a job, the only gay person i really hang out with is my best friend who is a graphic designer like myself.

But now i'm just rambling. You are super cute, intelligent and funny. You've got too big of a personality to be working at a restaurant for much longer, I wouldn't worry :)


Jeremy Feist said...

AVB: Girl please. I still live with my parents! That's not exactly sugar daddy material ya know?

TK: There is a reason. I sent you a message about it.

Rusty: Not to worry, I've clicked on all the little ads on your blog!

Robert: Thanks Rob! It's not the fame, it's just the lack of romance nowadays. I think that goes for everyone, really.

Alec: See? That's the kind of enthusiasm we need, dammit!

Harlequin: Awww, you're a sweet heart. Thanks a bunch, Jojo!